Loves Lost
by Leonard 356
Summary: Kate misses their anniversary dinner, choosing her investigation over Rick and he decides that maybe he should give her the space she is asking for - permanently. What will happen to them next? Complete for now...
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** This story started as a one-shot, but then grew into something more. I decided to run with the idea that Kate choosing to follow a LocSat lead rather than meet with her husband for their anniversary was the straw that broke the camel's back... It follows the canon up through 8-06 and parts of 8-07 but goes AU after that.

It goes without saying that Castle and all of its characters belong to ABC and I own nothing other than the time I spent writing this...

 **Chapter One:**

Rodger Richards took another sip from from his beer as he watches the sun set on the western horizon. Today was a special day - anniversaries of the best and worst days of his life. The best was marrying the woman that he was sure was his soul mate. The worst was accepting the fact that exactly one year later it was all an illusion that he would never be important enough to her to take priority over her quest for justice.

The day of their first anniversary started with an unusually heated argument about him not respecting her request to give her the space she asked for from him. If he was honest with himself, their marriage ended the moment she received the mysterious phone call and she reverted to lying to him. Her moving out without an explanation as to why only hours after promising no more secrets between them should have sealed the deal.

But Richard Castle wasn't one to give up without a fight. For two months he had to sneak around finding any excuse he could to see her and try to find out why she left. Every time she told the same lie, that she needed time to sort things out, but that she'd be back 'someday'. With each passing day, Rick knew that someday really meant never. Finding that she had returned to the loft to take her belongings should have been enough, but still he held out hope.

The day of their anniversary Rick decided was D-day. If she showed for their dinner celebration, he'd continue to wait. If she didn't, he'd give her the space she asked for - permanently. He was so tired of it all. Of her lies and secrets, of the accusing looks from Lanie, Ryan and Esposito, sure that he was the reason for her moving out and strange behavior. Hell, even his mother and daughter seemed to take her side without knowing why and that hurt more than anything.

Richard Castle, the three time loser, would cease to exist. Rodger Richards would take his place. He was never as grateful for having the contacts that he did until he started to put his plan into play the following day. Paula and Gina were loyal to him and would never betray his trust. He would leave New York for Los Angeles on 'business' later today. He would stay there until his new identity was complete and a few other legal matters were attended to. He had already signed the necessary paperwork required to officially end the sad joke that his marriage had become.

He called both Martha and Alexis to tell them he was flying out to LA for business and to not expect to see him back in New York for a while. Given their ability to take Kate's side without question, he couldn't trust either of them to keep his plan a secret.

In what had to be considered an ironic twist, his flight attendant was Jacinda, who was more than interested in picking up where they left off nearly four years earlier. He didn't know why, but he told her that he was married. Well technically he still was. She looked at his left hand to see a wedding band and frowned to find none. He'd left that in New York also with his attorney.

After arriving in Los Angeles, he took his usual suite in the Beverly Hills Hilton. He wanted to stay someplace familiar where he would be remembered before he drops off of the grid. It would make anyone that may be looking for him have a more difficult task of tracking him down. Not that he honestly expected anyone to come looking for him.

Rick still hadn't figured out how much he would tell Alexis or Martha. Both were more than capable of taking care of themselves and maybe with time, he'll let them know where he is planning on going to. For the immediate future, they'll be assured that he is alive and well, nothing more.

It was three days after his arrival that the package containing his new identity arrived. This was a first rate job and came at a hefty price tag. Complete with credit cards, birth certificate, driver's license and passport, he could travel anywhere in the world without question. Taking all of his Richard Castle documents, he stored them away in a hidden compartment inside his suitcase.

The following morning, he checked out of the hotel and headed to the airport for his first test of his new identity. After making it through airport security, he boarded his flight for San Francisco. Rick thought that he'd spend a couple of days there and work on changes to his appearance. A trip to one of the better hair salons in the city, and a blonde haired Rodger Richards emerged. Combined with the beard he was trying to grow and horn rimmed glasses, the changes were enough to throw most people off of his scent.

Two days later, he boards the flight for Miami. Dressed in jeans and a polo shirt, he looked like a native returning home. He's pleased that no one pays any attention to him and hopes that it holds out for as long as he needs it to. Rick, now Rodger, had a million things to do upon arrival in Miami. He hoped that he could stay busy enough to not have time to wonder about her.

He arrives in Miami and books a room in one of the nicer hotels there. Connecting to the hotel's internet with his laptop, he checks the new email account that he setup before leaving LA. Only Gina, Paula and his lawyer had access to it for now. Depending on how things went with Alexis and Martha over the next few days, they might be granted access also.

He had purchased a couple of disposable phones when he first arrived in Los Angeles. He drained the battery in his iPhone so that it couldn't be turned on remotely to activate the GPS unit and tucked it inside of his suitcase with his papers. It was one thing to plan out something like this for a character in a novel and another thing to do it in reality.

The following day, Rodger Richards purchases a used Lexus SC430 coupe from a local dealer and checked out of his hotel. He was out of the city an hour later and on his way to Key West. Rodger had contacted a realtor there about leasing a beachfront property and would meet her the next morning.

He spent the night in one of the better hotels in the city and met the realtor after a light breakfast. His cover story is that he was a successful broker on Wall Street that grew tired of the life, leaving the big city for the Keyes. She never questioned his story and proceeded to show him several of the more expensive properties, hoping for a big commission.

He finally settled for one of the smaller homes on a secluded stretch of beach on the gulf side. Rick/Rodger liked the idea of watching the sunset on the water. The lease had an option to buy after the first year which appealed to him as he had promised himself to give this change a full year before exploring any options.

The next twelve months were spent in what had become a familiar routine. An early morning run along the beach followed by breakfast, followed by several hours alone in his office writing. He hadn't cut his hair since arriving and thanks to the sunshine, it was blonde streaked naturally. Rodger never realized just how out of shape he was until he started running to kill time. Not only had he managed to drop thirty pounds since he started, he hadn't felt this good physically in years.

The designer clothes were nothing more than a fond memory, replaced with khaki shorts and loud print shirts that made him look every bit the native. His evenings were usually spent in one of the many popular watering holes in the area where he had become quite popular. No one questioned why he was there as many of them were hiding from their past also. Richards was quite popular with the female tourists that were looking for a fond memory of their time there.

Every once in a while, he would give in to their advances. They always seemed to be the same type, tall, thin, with long brown hair. It was understood that nothing would come from it more than two people creating a memory together. Rodger shy'd away from the local woman stating that he would never enter a serious relationship again. He knew there was nothing holding him back. His dissolution had been finalized months ago. The prenup that Kate demanded before they married was quite clear on what she would receive if the marriage end based upon how long they were together.

He wondered if the prenup was a premonition on her part that she knew the marriage was doomed before it even began, as he took another sip from his beer and watched the sun set into the ocean.

His only hope was that Kate was happy with her choices.


	2. Chapter 2: Kate's Year After - Part 1

**AN:** This is a long chapter as there was no good spot for a break.

For those of you that said in reviews that Rick and Kate are behaving out of character, my only response is 'Have you watched season 8?' This entire season has been one long angst fest with both of the leads acting totally out of character.

And to those confused at why he would have to pay to change his name - Castle's birth name was Richard Rodgers. He changes it to Rodger Richards for his new alias as it will be easy to remember and less likely to be tripped up if someone calls him by his 'new' name.

 **Chapter Two:**

Back in New York, Kate Beckett stared out of the window of the loft that she had shared with 'husband' for ten months. Ten months before she succumbed to her demons and threw away the only thing that should have mattered to her. Two years ago today they promised each other that they would be partners in all things. And now she has nothing. Like a bird in a gilded cage, she had everything, yet nothing that mattered, trapped by the choices she made.

She had every intention of meeting Rick for dinner on their one year anniversary. She knew that it was a small gesture, but Kate really wanted to prove to him that they weren't through. Unfortunately, as the old saying goes, 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions', Vikram called with a hot lead that wouldn't wait and she once again put the case before her husband.

Now she sits alone in the loft, wishing that she'd made the right choices, but not sure she'd have the strength even now.

When Rick didn't show at the 12th the next few days after their missed dinner, she simply assumed that he was mad and it would blow over. By the end of the third day, she called his cellphone but got no answer. Kate calls Martha later that evening and learns that Rick had flown to LA for business the day after their missed dinner. Martha confirmed that she hadn't spoken to Rick for a day or so, but was confident that he was fine.

The weekend was quiet and several attempts to contact Rick via phone and even email went unanswered. For the last two months she couldn't seem to get away from him and now that he was gone all she wanted was to see him.

Kate arrived at the precinct Monday morning tired, frustrated and angry. She and Vikram had been out until nearly four in the morning staking out a club where a probable suspect with ties to LocSat was supposed to be. Once again, Vikram's tip failed to produce anything of value. She was frustrated that none of their efforts have led to a single piece of actionable evidence. She was angry at Rick for not answering any of her messages or emails.

Beckett was sitting at her desk reviewing the weekend reports when there was a knock on the door. A young man dressed in a suit was standing outside and she gestures for him to enter. He opens the door and walks to the front of her desk, a large Manila envelope tucked under his arm. "Katherine Beckett?" He asks as he pulls the envelope from under his arm.

"Yes. Is there something I can do for you?"

"Yes, please sign this..." He lays the envelope on her desk along with another piece of paper.

Kate looked at the paper. It was a standard court document receipt form. She'd probably signed a hundred of them over her career as a cop, usually a request to testify at a trial or parole hearing. Usually those were delivered by a uniformed officer working out of the DA's office. She signed the receipt without a thought as her mind was elsewhere.

"You have been served. Have a good day." The man replied as he took the receipt and was out of her office before she could respond.

Kate stared at the envelope wondering at what was inside. She tore the end off and pulled the first document out gasping as the large print at the top - Petition for Dissolution. A yellow post-it note was attached to the front and she could tell the handwriting was Ricks. _'Thought I might as well admit defeat and give you what you really want. I'm sorry that I wasn't enough for you.'_ The document was littered with little sticky arrows pointing to all of the places where her signature was required. Also included was a copy of the prenup agreement she had asked for before they married. There were several changes made to the document that required her approval. Every one of them giving her more than the original agreement called for including the loft.

At first she thought that this was a cruel joke by Rick to get even with her for missing their anniversary, until she saw the small envelope. The circular raised up spot in it could only be one thing. Kate carefully opened it fighting back tears, hoping that she was wrong. The plain gold wedding band fell out into her open hand as she was unable stop the tears now. The inscription 'Always' inside the ring mocking her. She buries her face in her hands and sobs uncontrollably, all of her hastily constructed plans destroyed.

The warnings of both Rita and Martha come back to mock her for her hubris. But Kate Beckett was a fighter. She'd hunt down Richard Castle and make him see the error of his ways. Make him understand that what she was doing was more important than either of them. That their only chance at a happy ending was tied to her putting away LocSat.

Assuming that she may still have one ally in the Castle household, she picks up her phone and quickly dials Alexis' number. "Captain Beckett. What do you want?" The venom was dripping off of her voice as she spoke.

Stunned by Alexis' less than welcoming greeting, Kate replies. "Have you seen your father? I've been trying to contact him for the last three days and he hasn't answered any of my emails or voicemails."

There was an extended pause before Alexis speaks. "Dad flew out to LA last week for business. Something happened and now he's gone..."

"What do you mean gone? Someone like your father just doesn't disappear." Kate replies before she realizes what happened to him on their original wedding day. Her mind is filled with worst case scenarios that somehow this is tied to LocSat and Rita's warning that any blood would be on her hands.

"This has something to do with why you left dad, doesn't it?" The redhead asks, barely able to contain her anger.

"I don't know Alexis... Can you tell me the last time you spoke to him and where he was staying in LA?" Kate speaks as calmly as she can, trying to reassure the very frightened young woman.

"He called Thursday night and said that he may be gone for a while, but not to worry... He was staying at the Beverly Hills Hilton. That was the last time that either grams or I spoke to him..."

"Don't worry, I'll find him and we'll get this straightened out... Trust me."

"I'm sorry but I don't trust you. You promised to keep him safe after the last time he disappeared..." Alexis ends the call before she bursts into her own tears. She had suspected that her father's disappearance had something to do with Beckett and now after speaking to her she was sure of it.

Kate could only stare at the phone in disbelief. Castle had disappeared again and this time it was her fault either directly or indirectly. She walks out of her office and out to the bullpen where Kevin and Javi are doing paperwork. "I need to see both of you in my office now." The tone of her voice left no room for debate.

The two men stared at each other in confusion and then at her as she turns and walks back to her office without another word. The two detectives scramble to their feet and follow behind her entering the office.

Kate sighs and gestures to the door. "Close it and take a seat."

The two men comply and Espo speaks. "What's up Cap? Haven't seen Castle around here in a while..."

Kate forgets that all of the legal papers were still scattered on her desk along with Rick's wedding band. Kevin Ryan was a good detective and had seen enough of what was scattered on her desk to know that things between her and Castle had digressed much farther than he suspected.

Kate sighs again hoping to find the right words to say that will keep her from feeling even more guilty than she does at the moment. "Castle flew out to Los Angeles last week for business. No one has spoken to him since Thursday..."

"So you're telling me that Castle's been gone since last week and you're just now starting to look for him?" Espo asks incredulously. "Too busy hanging out with Vikram to notice your husband was missing?" He was practically seething now. Both of the detectives have felt like they have been relegated to the 'second team' since the arrival of the mysterious Mr Singh. Both had seen how much time the two spent together, especially in the evenings as they were done with their shifts.

Kate rises from her seat hoping to use her height and position of power to intimidate her detective. "My personal life is none of your business." She growls at Esposito.

"Is this an official police investigation Captain? Or is like your other 'off the books' work that seems to take priority around here?" Kevin inquires as he makes air quotes as he says off the books.

"Forget I said anything. I'll find him myself." The Captain replies as she gestures to the door. "You're dismissed."

"No. Castle is, or was our friend. Give us whatever information you have and we'll see what we can find." Espo replies with a look of conviction.

Kate proceeds to give them what little information that she has about his last known whereabouts and thanks the two for their help and discretion. They both rise from their seats and started towards the door. "Don't worry, we'll find him. I mean, he's just a writer." Espo comments as he walks out the door. Kevin stands in the doorway hesitating.

"Can I talk to you? I promise to be quick." Ryan asks, sure this is the not the time, but feeling it cannot wait any longer.

"Sure Kevin, what do you want?" Kate responds, but really not in the mood at the moment.

"Uh, I'm not sure how to say this, and I'm sure that the timing sucks..."

"What do you want to say?" Kate asks trying to remain calm in spite of everything that has happened since she arrived this morning.

"I thought that you ought to know that I've requested a transfer to the 23rd precinct. There's an opening over there and it puts me closer to home..."

The captain is stunned. Kevin and Javi have been like brothers to her and now he wanted to leave? "Does this have to do with Espo's promotion to Sargent? Javi's not going anywhere for quite a while as there are no openings right now."

Kevin stares at the papers on her desk again and this time she catches him looking. Deciding that he has nothing to lose he continues. "Things have been off around here since you took over as Captain." Ryan quickly holds up his hands to stop her from speaking. "This has nothing to do with your promotion as Javi and I have always taken orders from you... The first day on the job, you disappear and we search the city trying to find you... The next day you return and act as if nothing happened yet you move out of Castle's loft... Then Vikram shows up as your new tech analyst and Javier and I are suddenly moved to second string..."

Kevin sighs in frustration and wipes his sweaty palms on the legs of his trousers. "I've watched Castle try to find ways to work with us just to be near you... It's obvious that he's just as much in the dark about why you've changed as Javi and I are... This is your precinct and you can run it any way you want..."

Beckett is ill-prepared to defend herself to Kevin at the moment and decides to say nothing. Kevin can tell that this conversation is over and starts to the door. Once again he stares at the pile of papers on her desk again, this time gesturing to them. "I'm surprised that he held on as long as he did. If I pulled a stunt like you did on Jenny, she would have filed for divorce the very next day..." He opens the door and stands in the opening. "Did you ever think that maybe he doesn't want to be found?" Ryan is out the door, closing it behind him before she can respond.

Beckett sits there wondering if this day could get any worse as she again scans the legal documents before her. She carefully gathers them up and places the papers back into the envelope. Kate had decided that she will not sign the papers until she has a chance to speak to Castle, still convinced that she could get him to change his mind. Her hubris simply would not allow her to believe that she was wrong. Kevin's closing remark about Castle not wanting to be found was mocking her as she picked up his wedding band from the top of the desk. She reaches into her blouse and pulls out the chain containing her mothers ring that she had started wearing again. Slipping it over her head, Kate unhook so the clasp and places his ring on the chain beside her mothers.

The rest of her day was spent doing her duties as Captain and hoping that Vikram would finally uncover the lead that would allow her to put this whole LocSat mess to rest once and for all. Then she could focus on fixing her marriage. If there was anything left to fix.

It was near the end of the shift when Vikram appears at the door. She ushers him into the office and can see Ryan and Espo both glaring at her. Beckett was sure that Kevin has told Javi about the dissolution papers he saw on her desk by now and his request for a transfer. She could only wonder how much longer Esposito would stay on after Kevin left. Vikram walks around the desk and places his laptop in front of her. His physical closeness to her at the moment, as he starts to discuss some lead he was chasing made her feel uncomfortable. She could feel the others in the bullpen looking at them. Kate had been so focused on her goal that she never gave her interaction with Singh a second thought. She scoots her chair away from him to increase their distance from each other. He moves even closer to her in response, earning an angry glare from her which he seems to ignore.

He drones on and on about some potential informant that he is pursing when there's a knock at the door. It's Javi and he gives the tech analyst a wilting stare as Beckett gestures for him to enter. "Can we speak in private?" Esposito asks, but it's not really a question.

Kate dismisses Vikram and he gives the two cops a puzzled look as he leaves the office. Javier gives Vikram a death glare as he walks out. "Close the door. What did you find Javi?" Kate asks, hoping for some good news.

Deciding to stand, Espo begins. "We checked his credit cards and phone usage. The last time there was any record of Castle was Friday morning when he returned his rental car. He checked out of the Beverly Hills Hilton that morning and returned his rental. There has been no cellphone or credit card activity since them... It's as if he vanished without a trace... Could he be staying in LA with Meredith?"

Kate was shocked Espo would insinuate that Castle would run to his ex-wife, but remembered what happened when he found out about her and Deming. How Gina jumped at the opportunity to reconnect with Rick. Beckett knew that Meredith still had feelings for her husband and wouldn't put it past her to take advantage of the mess that she made. Kate dismisses the thought yet decides to make a call later. "Thank you Javi, I'll take it from here..."

Esposito opens the door. "You know Beckett, I don't know what happened between you and Castle, but I do know that man loved you... For him to give up, things must have seemed pretty hopeless..."

Espo walks out the door closing it behind him, leaving Kate alone again. She pulls her cellphone from the desk and quickly dials the number.

"Hello, Captain Beckett. What can I do for you?" Hayley asks as she answers the call.

"I need your help. Castle's gone missing..."

Hayley laughs out loud at her statement. "The last time we spoke you couldn't seem to get rid of him. What's changed?" The PI inquires.

"I missed our anniversary dinner and the next day he flew out to LA for business... I checked his cellphone and credit card activity and everything seemed to stop Friday morning."

"I'm sure that there must be some mistake, Kate. Unless whatever you're involved in caught up to him..."

There was an accusing tone to Hayley's voice that only increases the guilt that Kate felt at the moment. Rick must have known about Kate's not-so-secret after hours investigation and discussed it with Hayley. "I don't know what you're talking about..."

"Don't lie to me Kate. I'm not your husband, so blinded by love that he believed your bullshit." Despite refusing to tell Castle what she was doing, Hayley had conducted her own investigation of his wayward wife's after hours activities. "I know that you and your tech analyst have become quite cozy together at all hours of the night. I don't know what you're up to, but I'd bet that the NYPD wouldn't approve..."

The accusation of her and Vikram somehow romantically involved worried her more than the seriousness of her accusation of conducting her own secret investigation using NYPD resources. "It's not what you think! I'd never cheat on Rick..." She wondered just how much she had told him and if this is what lead to his giving up on their marriage. "How much did you tell him?"

"Absolutely nothing. He came to me with his suspicions and I assured him that he had nothing to worry about. But then I decided to see for myself and was shocked at what I found... I was going to confront you with the evidence and give you a chance to explain yourself before I gave it to Rick. I felt sorry for him thinking that he was to blame..."

"It's not what you think. I was doing this to protect Rick." Kate offers in her defense.

"Bloody fine job you did then!" Haley snorts in response. "So how long was he gone before you even noticed?" She asks sarcastically.

"I spoke to him last Monday. I promised to meet him for dinner. It was our one year anniversary. Something came up and I couldn't make it... I knew that he'd be mad about it, so I decided to give him a couple of days to cool off. By Friday, I decided to call him and see if we could talk. All of my voicemail messages went unanswered and I even tried emailing him... This morning I called Alexis and she told me that she hadn't spoken to Castle since Thursday night. That's when I started to investigate. I've gone as far as I can. Can you help?"

"You're too late Beckett. Alexis called me after she spoke to you and I agreed to fly out to LA to find him. I owe him, because I defended you... If I can't find him, I'll be forced to reconsider what to do with the evidence that I've gathered on your after hours activities... Consider yourself warned Captain." Hayley ends the call before Kate can utter a word in her defense.

The tears that she had been fighting back now broke free. This had become the second worse day of her life. In the span of eight hours, she'd managed to lose her husband, one of her closest friends and possibly her career, all because of her insatiable obsession for justice. Once again she cradled her face in her hands and sobbed.


	3. Chapter 3: Kate's Year After - Part 2

**Chapter Three:**

Three days later, Kate receives a call from Martha telling her that Hayley is returning back from Los Angeles - without Castle. Beckett's suspicions were peaked by the lack of concern in Martha's voice. "You know where he is don't you?" Kate asks in an accusing voice.

Martha Rodger's was intimidated by very few and Beckett's interrogation room tone only served to raise her ire. "Even if I knew where Richard was, I certainly wouldn't tell you. Not after Hayley showed me what she discovered about you and your new partner. I warned you that even a forgiving man such as my son has his limits and you ignored me. So whatever happens now is on you. Goodbye Captain Beckett." Martha ends the call before Kate can say a word.

Three more weeks pass without a word from Castle or anyone from his family. A small going away party was held for Ryan at The Olde Haunt. No one there had heard or seen from Castle in nearly a month now. Things had become even more strained between her and Esposito since Kevin announced he was leaving. Believing that her time was limited until Hayley turns in whatever evidence she had on her secret investigation, she redoubles her efforts to find LocSat. Her official work was starting to suffer and people at 1PP were taking notice.

Christmas was a week away and Kate was positive that Rick wouldn't miss the holiday. She started monitoring both Alexis and Martha's credit card activity hoping to see something that would indicate that Castle was coming to see them for the holiday. She had to see him and talk him out of going through with the dissolution, which would become official on the 27th, with or without her signature. She could try to appeal, but the fact that he was giving her more than required by the prenup coupled with her well documented abandonment didn't bode well for her.

Christmas came and went with no sign of Castle. Kate works the holiday as she had no where to go anyway. Martha and Alexis celebrated the holiday with Hayley and Meredith. She wasn't surprised that Meredith would seize the opportunity to manipulate the situation to her advantage with Alexis in Rick's absence. Two days later, her dissolution was filed and accepted without Kate appearing in court. There was no point in fighting it anyway.

On December 31st, Kate was summoned into deputy Director Gates office at 1PP. Sitting there in the office was Bonnie Spellman, Director of Internal Affairs and Chief of Detectives Arthur Graham. Kate knew as soon as she entered the room that this was not going to end well for her. Gates gestured for for Beckett to take a seat in the already crowded office.

"Ms Beckett, I'll dispense with the formal introductions as you already know everyone. I'll be brief and to the point. Two weeks ago, Internal Affairs was alerted to an IT audit which reveled suspicious activity by your newly hired tech analyst, a Vikram Singh. The evidence indicated that Mr Singh was accessing restricted government servers after hours using NYPD resources... Yesterday, the preliminary report was filed with evidence that supports the allegations that you and Vikram Singh were conducting your own unwarranted investigation using NYPD resources..."

Gates opened up a folder and laid out several photographs before her. Each was time and date stamped from the previous week. The first one was of her and Vikram leaving her SRO at one in the morning. The second one was of the two of them sharing a meal at a street vendor. The third one showed her and Vikram sitting together in a car during one of their fruitless stake outs. "Would you care to comment on these?"

Knowing there was nothing to say in her defense, she quietly replies. "I don't know what you want me to say sir."

"One of my investigators conducted several interviews with the people in your precinct. Most of them that knew you said that your behavior since you took over as Captain has been off to say the least. Camera logs have you coming and going at all hours, yet your required precinct reports are continuously late, or incomplete." Director Spellman comments. "There were unsubstantiated rumors from several people that you and Mr Singh were involved in a extramarital affair..."

"That's a lie! I'd never cheat on Rick." Kate angrily replies.

"It's been confirmed that you moved out of the apartment that you shared with your now ex-husband over three months ago and hired Mr Singh as a tech analyst soon thereafter. We tried to contact him, but it seems that he's disappeared. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

The tone of Spellman's voice implied that she had already made her decision regarding Kate's infidelity. "I have no idea where my husband is..." She replies emotionlessly. "I haven't seen or spoken to him since our wedding anniversary..."

"I went to bat for you Beckett. I told them that despite your impulsive acts in the past, you could be counted on to do the job as Captain... I thought that you being married to Mr Castle was just what you needed to thrive in your new job... I spoke to several of the people in the precinct and they all agreed that morale is at an all time low. When I saw detective Ryan's request for transfer, I knew that you had failed... That I had failed..." Gates comments with a sigh.

Graham spoke last. "Based upon the preliminary evidence we have, you are suspended without pay while we complete a formal investigation of these allegations against you. As these may include criminal charges being filed, we ask that you do not leave the city until the investigation is completed... Your gun and your badge Ms Beckett..."

Kate opens her jacket and removes her service weapon from its holster and lays it on Gates desk along with her shield.

"Not knowing what this investigation may find, my advice would be to retain the services of a good lawyer Ms Beckett." Spellman remarks as Kate starts to walk to the door.

Beckett stops to turn and face Gates. "What happens to Mr Singh?"

"I figured that you would know Ms Beckett..." Spellman sarcastically replies. "When we tried to contact him, the number he provided was no longer in service and the address in his personnel file was empty... You claimed that he used to work for the Attorney General, but they have no record of an employee by that name..."

Kate was too stunned to speak. 'Had Vikram been a plant by LocSat to keep her chasing nowhere leads and apart from the one man with the connections that could have helped her - her husband?' All she could do was take the elevator down to the lobby where she left the keys to her cruiser with the receptionist. Exiting the building, she hails a cab, giving him directions to her fathers apartment.

Thirty minutes later the cab stops in front of her father's apartment building. She pays the driver and is in the elevator on her way to her father's floor a minute later. Kate exits the elevator and searches through her purse looking for extra key Jim had given her. Once inside the apartment, she collapses on the sofa, finally able to release the tears she had been holding since 1PP.

Jim Beckett arrived about an hour after Kate. He walks into his apartment and sees his daughter curled up in a ball on the sofa, still sobbing. He rushes to where she is dropping to his knees beside her. "Katie bug, what's wrong?"

The use of his nickname for her when she was a child only seemed to make things worse. "I, I've ruined everything dad. I've lost it all..." Kate manages to get out between sobs.

Jim Beckett loved his daughter without conditions. He had supported her through her wild-child teens, when it seemed that she constantly clashed with Johanna. He'd been the shoulder that Kate cried on when Will had decided his career was more important than a relationship with her. He was the one that assured her that Rick would return to her somehow because he loved her after Castle disappeared on their wedding day.

He was never as proud of her as the day she married Castle. He was so happy to see that she had finally found a man that loved her even more than he did. She deserved to be happy after everything that she had been through. But then she succumbed to her addiction - her quest for justice that took precedence above everything. Like her separation from Castle, he learned about her divorce from Martha. They both held such high hopes for their children, yet neither was surprised when Rick finally gave up.

Jim Beckett could spot a fellow addict when he saw one and his daughter exhibited all of the signs. He had begged her to seek counseling when he first learned of her moving out of the loft, but she assured him that everything was fine. She just needed a little time alone to work things out. He even understood why Rick had to leave the city as he was sure that it was filled with reminders of Kate just like it is for him with Johanna.

"What are you talking about Katie?" Jim inquires as his thoughts return to the present.

"My, my job! I was suspended today... They're talking about filing criminal charges... What am I going to do dad?" Kate manages to get the words out between sobs. "I've ruined everything..."

Not knowing that Castle was nowhere to be found, he inquires. "Have you spoken to Rick? I'm sure that he could help..."

"My divorce was final three days ago dad. I don't know why Rick would want to help me..."

"Because the man loves you." Jim replies as if that was one of the givens in life like the sky is blue.

She stops sobbing, hearing her father tell her that Rick still loves her. "I have no idea where he is and both Martha and Alexis will not tell me. They said that they promised Rick to tell no one..."

"You're a cop Katie. Do what you do best and track him down. Tell him what a fool you have been and beg him to forgive you... Unless you don't want to be with him..."

"He left me dad! Why should I have to hunt him down and beg for his forgiveness?" Kate replies, suddenly on the offensive.

Angered by her tone, Jim rises to his feet and moves away from her to take a calming breath. She was always so stubborn, even when she knew she was wrong. "You know what Katie, you're right. This is all Rick's fault. He wouldn't stay away when you asked him to because he was worried about you. It was his fault for not knowing why you moved away from him like you did. And I'm sure that it was his fault for actually giving you the space away from him and the divorce that you asked for..."

"I never wanted a divorce dad! Rick gave up on me!" She nearly shouts at him.

"Who gave up on whom first Katie?" He questions. "You moved out on him without an explanation or an idea of how long you were going to be gone, why? What did you do that made him finally give up?"

Kate knew that her father was in full lawyer mode. There was nothing she could say to defend herself or her actions with him that wouldn't be picked apart. She decides to say nothing remembering one of her mother's favorite sayings: _'It's better to be silent and let everyone think you're a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.'_

Jim could only sigh and decided to change the subject. "So tell me why you were suspended from your job?"

"I was conducting an off the books investigation after hours. They claim that I was misusing NYPD resources for my investigation..."

"Were you Katie?"

"I guess so. I mean we used some of the resources there to track down a few leads..."

"We? Who else did you involve in this?" Jim asks, now concerned that she had gotten detectives Ryan and Esposito involved. He knew how loyal they were to her.

"Just a tech analyst. He was the reason I got involved in the first place."

"What happened to him? Did they suspend him too?"

"I seems that he disappeared. The address that he gave was empty when they went to find him and his phone was disconnected. They claimed that he never worked in the Attorney General's office like he told me..."

"Tell me that this off the books case wasn't why you left Rick?" Jim asks, already suspecting the answer.

Kate can only stare straight ahead of her, not able to make eye contact with her father.

"If you'd like, I can give you the names of a couple of very good criminal attorneys. They may be able to get all of the charges against you dropped in exchange for your resignation."

"Resignation? What will I do without my job? It's all I have left."

"Katie, you had to know that this was the chance you were taking when you decided to conduct your own secret investigation. Just like you had to know that you were risking your marriage when you moved out on Rick... You can't undo what has happened as result of the choices you make... You have to accept the consequences..." Deciding that there was nothing more to be said about the subject, he asks her to stay with him as long as she needs to. Jim didn't know that Rick's loft now belonged to her...


	4. Chapter 4: Seeking Help

**Chapter Four:**

Three weeks later, the NYPD officially closed the investigation into criminal wrongdoing by Kate and Vikram in exchange for her formal resignation. Vikram Singh was never found, having disappeared the day before Kate was suspended. Kate moved into the loft, making an agreement with herself that she would keep it for one year in the hope that Rick might return, or it would be sold after that time.

Alexis called her a few days after her 'resignation' from the NYPD and asked her to take over as president of Richard Castle Investigations. Kate already held a percentage of the business as part of the dissolution agreement. Alexis was in her final semester at Columbia and had just been accepted at UCLA medical school in the fall. The timing of the offer seemed a little too perfect and she could only guess that Jim was somehow part of it all. Regardless, she seized the opportunity.

Hayley was their only full-time employee and handled the lion's share of the work. Kate was sure that Hayley had followed through on her threat and had provided the NYPD with the evidence that lead to her dismissal. Their first meeting was awkward until Hayley assured her that the evidence she had was never sent to anyone at the NYPD. Rick had demanded that it was to be destroyed as soon as he learned about it.

Their first couple of months working together were strained as each had their own style of investigation. Granted the majority of their work was background checks and cheating spouses, but they occasionally picked up a case that required them to use their skills as investigators.

Kate tried to use Hayley as a sort of go-between with Martha and Alexis, hoping to find out anything she could about Rick. Neither woman would divulge anything about Rick regarding his whereabouts. Kate knew that Rick must still be writing as she'd had no contact at all from Gina or Paula. She suspected that they also knew where he was, but would never tell her out of loyalty to him. _'He seemed to have no problem getting loyalty from all of the women in his life except the one that he needed the most.'_ She thought to herself.

Beckett gradually fell into a routine of sorts. Each morning after her run, she'd take a quick shower and then scan the Internet for any mention of Castle. So far all of the sightings were false alarms. She kept a go bag by the door ready to travel at a moment's notice. Every Friday, she, Lanie and Hayley would meet for drinks at The Olde Haunt.

Things had deteriorated between her and the Medical Examiner not long after Rick's disappearance. Alexis had told Lanie everything that she knew about why Castle had left and Kevin had confided in her before he asked for a transfer. Alexis didn't know about Hayley's investigation of Kate's after hours activities as Martha had asked the PI not to tell her.

A heartfelt apology and a promise that she'd get the help she needed to fight her obsessive behavior with seeking justice helped start a dialog between the two women that were once best friends. Thanks to the generous settlement from her divorce, she could afford the best help that money could buy. She started seeing Dr Burke three times a week for the first month. The initial sessions were painful and Kate threatened to quit nearly as many times as the psychiatrist threatened to drop her as a patient. Kate wouldn't admit that her quest for justice at all costs was an addiction and Burke could not help her until she could admit that she has a problem.

"We're you happy with your life before you received the call from Mr Singh?" Burke questions.

"Of course I was. I was starting my new job. Rick and I loved each other..." Kate replies as if Burke has asked a stupid question.

"You say that you were happy and everything was good... So why did you feel the need to lie about the call to your husband?"

"I was trying to protect him." Kate answers matter-of-factly.

"Did Mr Singh tell you that you were in danger, that your husband was in danger?"

"No. But he told me that they had killed my old team with the Attorney General and he needed my help."

"How long had it been since you worked in the AG's office?"

"Almost two years."

"Why did you assume that this had something to do with your mother's case?"

"I didn't at first. I was simply responding to a distress message from an analyst of the AG's office..."

"Why did you feel that you had to address this request personally? Doesn't the NYPD have regulations regarding such things?"

"Of course they do, but I worked with those people. They had become my friends..."

"We're they Kate? How many times did you have contact with any of them after you were fired? Did you ever question why Mr Singh would contact you and not someone in the FBI office in New York?"

"Not really. He said that he couldn't trust anyone."

"Why would he trust you? You said that you didn't know him."

"I don't know."

Burke sighs and takes a calming breath. He can see that Kate can't, or won't see that she willingly allowed herself to be manipulated by Vikram. "Did you ever think that he was manipulating you? Preying upon your belief in conspiracies in the government because of your mother's case?"

Kate considers Burke's question and immediately rejects it. "No, he had a document that had tied Bracken to this mysterious LocSat."

"So LocSat was tied to your mother's murder?"

"I don't think so. At least not directly."

"So why did you feel compelled to take on this case?"

"Because they killed my team."

"But they weren't your team Kate. You hadn't contacted or worked with them in nearly two years. Could they have worked on a case that got them killed that had absolutely nothing to do with you or your mother's case?"

"Of course they could have... But Vikram told me that LocSat had ties to Bracken..."

"So you feel that it's your duty to take on any case that has any connection to Bracken?"

"Of course not. But Vikram said..." Kate stops herself from talking realizing how she had been manipulated by the analyst that she had never met before that day.

Burke hopes that Kate is starting to connect the dots and see what she has done. "So you chose to believe a total stranger with no proof that anything he said was true... Deciding to lie to your husband and coworkers about what you were doing?"

Kate sits there in silence, unwilling to admit that she allowed herself to be manipulated by a total stranger that preyed upon her fears.

The doctor can sense that she is shutting down and decides a different tact is needed. "So Kate, let's assume that there was a connection between LocSat and your mother's murder... How many years did it take to bring Bracken to justice?"

"Fifteen."

"And by your own admission, this LocSat is even more powerful and better connected than Bracken?"

"Yes."

"So you were willing to put your life on hold for another fifteen years to bring this LocSat to justice?"

Kate had never considered that it could take that long. She was sure that with the resources available to her as a NYPD Captain and Vikram's help, they would find LocSat in days... Or maybe a couple of weeks... Or a month or two at most. Then she could resume her life... Or at least that was the plan...

"You said that Rick had no idea what you were doing... Didn't you think that he would figure it out eventually?" Burke asks, hoping that something will start to connect.

"Yes."

"How did you think that he would react once he found out?"

"I don't know. I assumed that he'd be upset..."

"So you assumed that you could lie to him, leave him without an explanation as to why, or for how long and he would just wait?"

She realizes just how ridiculous it sounds when she hears Dr Burke ask her the question. How arrogant it made her seem that she expected everyone to put their life on hold while she went off on her quest for justice. "I don't know... I hoped he would understand..."

"How would he understand if he had no idea what you were doing or why? Were you surprised that he filed for divorce, or that he waited as long as he did?"

"Of course I was shocked! I loved him and I thought he would wait..." The words are out of her mouth as she realizes just how conceited she sounds.

"Do you think that things would have been different if you would have explained why you had to go?"

"I couldn't. He would have wanted to help me if he knew. Rita warned me that if I pursued this case, anyone who died's blood would be on my hands..."

"Yet you chose to ignore her warning... You've never mentioned this Rita before. Who is she?"

"She claimed to be Rick's stepmother... She actually saved Vikram and I from the team of mercenaries that were trying to kill us... She knew that the suicide of the supervising agent from the AG's office was a coverup... She told me that she had been tracking down LocSat for months... Told me to let her handle it and go home to my husband..."

Burke is stunned by the revelation that Castle's step mother is some type of government agent, but keeps his demeanor calm. "Yet you chose to ignore her warnings. Why?"

"I didn't trust her to follow through and bring LocSat to justice. My team deserved justice."

"So you chose to put total trust in a man you'd never seen before who offered no proof of anything he claimed, yet chose to ignore the warnings of a woman that had saved your life?"

"You make me sound pretty stupid when you say it like that..."

"It wasn't stupidity Kate. It was hubris. Mr Singh preyed upon your desire to seek justice at all costs by feeding your ego that you were the only one that could avenge their deaths... Your ego told you that you could bring down LocSat quickly. Your ego told you that your husband would wait as long as it took for you to complete your quest. Your ego told you that everything would return to the way it was when it was all over..."

Burke looks at his watch in frustration. "Our time is up for this session. Think about what we've talked about today..."

By the end of the first month both sides felt that real progress was being made. The number of weekly sessions was reduced to two per week for the second month and reduced again to once per week from then on. Kate learns that she has a type of obsessive compulsive disorder that was triggered by her mother's murder. Her becoming a cop was a way of channeling her obsession in a positive manner and it was actually rewarded. Montgomery had seen the signs and had used it to help her advance in her career. He kept her focused on finding justice for others rather than her mother. Of course, he had an ulterior motive for keeping her away from the case.

She realizes through her sessions with Burke that Castle had inadvertently became the catalyst that sent her spiraling out of control. Much like the old saying 'one drink is too many and a million isn't enough', Rick's secret investigation of Johanna's murder would be what started her descent into the dark that nearly took her life. She resisted the temptation and his offer to assist her by sending him away. She was trying to protect herself and it almost worked. But then they caught the Coonan case and her defenses started to unravel... Castle unwittingly was her enabler, supporting her compulsion.

Kate never gave up hope that if she could just see Castle, she could win him back. This remained the one point of contention between her and Burke as he thought that she should accept the fact that she may never see him again. That losing him was the cost of her compulsive behavior and start anew.


	5. Chapter 5: An Unexpected Guest

**Chapter Five:**

The months came and went and soon spring became summer and summer became fall. Lanie and Hayley both tried to get Kate to go out with them clubbing on multiple occasions and every time she refused. They, like Dr Burke tried to prepare her for the idea that she may never see Rick again. Thanksgiving was coming in a couple of weeks and Hayley suggested that they take a weekend getaway to Florida. Lanie had a few friends that lived in Key West and knew they could have fun. Kate immediately turns down the idea stating that it was too close to her wedding anniversary and that it would be just like Rick to show up on that date.

Lanie and Hayley knew there was no point in arguing with her and decided to go anyway without her. Kate ended up spending what would have been their second wedding anniversary evening sitting alone in the loft hoping that Rick would appear. Knowing that Castle was doing the exact same thing in this place a year ago only made the guilt she felt for her actions that much worse. She pulls the necklace she wears everyday out from inside the cocktail dress she was wearing and stares at the symbols of the two people that she has lost. She could only hope that wherever he was he was happy...

X-X-X-X

Lanie and Hayley arrived in Miami the night of what should have been Rick and Kate's second anniversary. The two women decide to stay in the city for the night and drive down to the Keys the next morning. After an early dinner and a few drinks in the hotel bar, both decide to turn in early. The next morning they loaded up their rental and were on their way. Lanie's friends were a married couple that she knew from medical school, Bree and Matt Larsen. They were both Doctors on staff at one of the local medical centers in the city and promised to take the women out to see the sights like a local rather than the tourist traps.

They arrived at their hotel a little after 4:00 pm. Bree and Matt were supposed to pick them up at 7:00 so they decided to unpack, shower and change into appropriate clothes for an evening out.

The two women were waiting in the hotel lobby when their tour guides arrive fifteen minutes late. After introductions and apologies for their tardiness was made, the four piled into the Larsen's Range Rover. They had dinner at one of the restaurants frequented by the locals, but usually ignored by the tourists because of the exterior appearance. The group made small talk and tried to include Hayley in the conversation as much as possible but considering three of the four people there were in the medical profession, most of the topics discussed were in medicine. The meal was excellent, and soon the group was talking about some of the local pubs they could visit after.

Bree announced to the others that she had just found out she was pregnant a few days ago so she would be the designated driver. Soon they were on their way to the first of several local bars that Matt had planned on showing them. The moment they entered the first bar Lanie gasps and has to laugh as she takes in her surroundings. Hayley picks up on it too and is soon smiling herself.

Puzzled by their reaction to the bar, Matt looks at his wife who is just as confused as he is. "Am I missing something ladies?"

Both Lanie and Hayley exchange a knowing look before the ME speaks. "No, it's that this place reminds me of the bar we go to in New York and how much the guy who owns that place would like this..." The decor was reminiscent of that in the Olde Haunt, although the pictures on the walls were more of celebrities that had visited rather than writers. There was one section that did contain a group of pictures of Hemingway, but probably every bar in Key West did if the stories were true. The group found an empty booth and placed their drink orders as Lanie told them about the Olde Haunt.

"You see, this guy I knew wrote his first novel in that bar and ended up working with my best friend at the NYPD on a murder case that involved the owner... After they solved the case, he was afraid that the bar would be sold to that chain T J McChucklenuts, so he went and bought the bar. We meet there for drinks every Friday."

Bree had listened intently to her friends story and is curious as to who this mysterious owner is. "So who is this guy?" She asks.

"Have You heard of Richard Castle?" Lanie asks with a grin.

"You mean the Richard Castle? The creator of Derrick Storm and Nikki Heat?"

"One and the same." Lanie replies as she takes a sip of her drink. "My best friend was the woman that he based Nikki Heat on..."

"No way!" Bree replies in disbelief. "So you knew Richard Castle? Tell me what was he really like? I mean I went to a book signing in Miami a couple of years ago and he seemed really nice..."

Lanie was preparing to share with her friends the inside scoop on Richard Castle when the baritone voice that she'd recognize anywhere pierces the silence, causing her to spit the the mouthful of her drink to be dispensed across the booth. "He was a coward who ran away from his problems... Hello Lanie..."

The ME practically knocks Hayley out of her seat as she rushes to get out of the booth. She leaps into the man's arms as he twirls her around in a hug, as the two doctors sit there in stunned silence. He lowers her back to the floor and she pushes away from him. She holds him at arms length and gives him an appraising once over. "Damn writer boy, you sure look different. I wouldn't have recognized you..."

Rick/Rodger gives her one of his trademark smiles as he inquires. "Is that a good or bad thing?"

She gives him a mock frown and replies. "Too early to tell." She breaks into a smile and says. "Come have a drink with us as I think about it..." She takes his hand in hers an pulls him to the booth where a grinning Hayley and confused couple were still seated. Lanie stops at the front of the booth still holding tightly on Rick/Rodger's hand as if he might try to escape. "Bree, Matt, I'd like you to meet a dear friend of mine... Richard Castle."

The look on the Larsen's face was priceless. They had probably seen Rick several times in this bar during the last year and would have never guessed who he was. Rick extends his hand to each of the pair to shake their hands. "Bree, Matt, it's a pleasure to meet you..." Hayley slid out of the booth and gives him a big hug. "It's good to see you too." Rick whispers to her.

"Come, sit down..." Hayley gestures for Rick to take a seat between her and Lanie in the booth, secretly afraid that he'd try to escape before they could talk. He slides into the booth as Hayley can only shake her head in disbelief. "I've got to give you credit, when you go off the grid, you know how to do it... What are the odds?" Hayley comments out loud to herself as Bree and Matt sit there still puzzled by the interaction between this man and the two women.

Rick/Rodger signals to the waitress to bring another round to everyone at the table. The young woman smiles and replies "sure thing Mr Richards", followed by a flirting wink, which earns laughs from Hayley.

The feisty ME fights back the urge to yell at Rick as the waitress brings their drinks and he gives the young woman a wink and a smile which causes her to blush. 'How dare he!' She thought to herself. 'My best friend has been living like a monk for the last year while you've been having a good time.'

Rick can see the change in Lanie's posture and sees her fists clenching. He'd been around her long enough to know that she was ready to explode and he was in no mood to take a tongue lashing from her, regardless of why. He starts to push against Hayley as he tries to extricate himself from his seat. "Maybe this was a bad idea... I think I'd best be going. It was nice to meet you two. Enjoy your evening..." The words came out hurried as he started thinking about making contact with his sources that could provide him with a new identity. He was so tired of it all...

Lanie grabs his arm, tightly squeezing on his bicep. "Not so fast writer-boy. I haven't seen you in over a year... We have a lot of catching up to do..." The tone of her voice left no room for argument. "You look so different..."

Rick tries to offer a forced smile now wishing that he'd never revealed himself to the ME. He should have known that she'd take Kate's side regardless of what she did. "Different good or different bad?" He asks not really concerned with her response.

"I think you look hot." Hayley replies as she gives his hand a squeeze. Lanie simply scowls while Bree gives him a blushing smile.

Rick decides to delay the inevitable confrontation with Lanie by focusing on the two strangers at the table. "So, Matt, Bree how do you know these two?" He gestures to the women on either side of him. Bree proceeds to tell him how Dr Parish and they were all residents at the same hospital for a few years, and how Lanie was her maid of honor at her wedding to Matt. Castle/Richards was his usual charming self allowing the couple to become the center of the conversation.

Bree confesses that she was a huge fan of his novels which elicits a groan from Lanie and a laugh from Hayley. Another round of drinks soon follows and the ME realizes that Rick has managed to keep the conversation away from anything related to what he has been doing for the last year which makes her even angrier.

Matt looks at his watch and comments that they had an early shift at the hospital and should get some rest. Rick congratulated the couple on their upcoming new addition and promises to send Bree an autographed copy of his latest novel if she promised to keep his identity a secret. Rick settled the bar tab and walked out with the others.

As they approached the Larsen's Rover, Hayley stops and takes Rick by the arm. "You know we're going to be staying here a few days and take in the sights... I was wondering if you'd act as out tour guide as you seem to have become a local..."

He gives Lanie a quick glance and can see that she is still angry for whatever reason. "I don't know Hayley. I don't think that your friend is too pleased to see me..."

"Nonsense Rick. Would you please do us the honor of showing us around your town? What do you say Lanie?"

Lanie's glare now shifts to Hayley for being put on the spot in front of her friends. "Yes, Rick. Would you please show us around the town?" Her words felt forced, which they were.

Now put on the spot himself, he simply sighs and replies. "Sure, I'll pick you up at the hotel at 10:00. We'll have to take your car as mine can only handle two adults..."

"So, you're back to driving a Ferrari again? Bet the bimbos love it." Lanie sarcastically comments.

"Hardly." Rick replies as he gestures to the his Lexus parked a couple of spaces from where they were. "I didn't realize just how little use you can actually get from a convertible down here, Between the blistering sun during the day and the afternoon showers, the only chance I get is in the evening."

Rick stops in front of their car and extends his hand to the couple. "Matt, Bree, it was a pleasure to meet you. Perhaps we'll see each other around..." They shake his hand and Bree places a shy kiss on his cheek and giggles. This earns a surprised look from both her husband and Dr Parish. Rick turns and hugs Hayley and Lanie. "I'll see you two ladies in the morning. Have a good night." He starts to walk away, but stops himself as he turns back to the women. "You never told me where you're staying..."


	6. Chapter 6: Confrontations

**Chapter Six:**

The ride back to the hotel was strange. Bree rambled on and on about how nice Castle was while Lanie seemed to become angrier with each compliment. They arrived at the hotel and after a quick exchange of hugs and promises to stay in touch, the Larsen's drove off leaving the two women standing there. Hayley could see that Lanie was practically seething about something and wanted to nip it in the bud now. As they entered the hotel, the PI grabbed the doctor by the arm and nearly drug her into the hotel lounge.

"What do you think you're doing?" Lanie hisses as she's pulled into a booth near the bar.

"Sit down and shut up. I'm going to find out why you were such an ass to Rick." Hayley replies with a look that left no room for debate. The PI was quite familiar with Lanie's type - able to bluff her way through life with tough talk. The problem was, Hayley knew she was all talk. The PI walked to the bar and ordered their drinks as the ME sat in he booth pouting like a child. She shows the bartender her room key and he puts the charges on her bill as she returns to the booth with their drinks.

She slides into her side of the booth and pushes her drink to the ME. "Now you're going to tell me why you were being such an ass to Rick. You don't see the man in over a year and you start to attack him? He didn't have to reveal himself to us. He could have walked out of that bar without a word and we would never have known. I bet he's already making plans to bolt again..." Hayley's voice was calmer than what she actually felt at the moment.

"How could he do this to Kate? I know she made some mistakes, but he divorced her and disappeared from everyone. She's been miserable without him and he's off living the good life in the sun..."

"How much did Kate tell you? It sounds to me like not much if you think that Beckett only made a ' _few mistakes'_ as you call them. Are you that stupid to believe that he's happy living down here like this? Did you listen to anything the man said or were you to busy being pissed off at him because you think that he 'wronged' your friend. Maybe it's time you heard the whole story and not the Kate Beckett version." Hayley was angry now and Lanie decided that she better at least pretend to listen.

Ninety minutes and two rounds of drinks later, the PI finishes the true story of what went on between Rick and Kate. Lanie laughed at parts, cried at others, but ended with an overwhelming feeling of guilt for the way she had treated Castle from the start of this mess. "I feel like such an ass." Lanie comments, her honesty enhanced by the alcohol consumption this evening. "I should have stopped her from throwing her life away when I had the chance..."

"I feel sorry for Rick. Do you think that this is what he wants? Living in a self-imposed exile, away from his family and friends? All because he couldn't face her, afraid that he'd give in to her if she asked..." Hayley comments as she takes another sip of her drink. "That man still loves her with all of his heart, but he doesn't trust her... Can you blame him?"

"But she's miserable too... She's lost everything." Lanie tries to defend her friend.

"Not really." Hayley counters. "She still has her friends, money, a beautiful home, and a thriving business. With the exception of her job with the NYPD, what exactly has she lost?"

"She lost the only man that ever truly loved her." Lanie replies.

"You can't lose something that you threw away." The PI counters. "For two months, I watched as Rick scratched and clawed to hang on to his marriage. She knew the risk she was taking from the beginning. She chose to leave him."

"What do we do? Do we tell Kate that we saw him?"

"We are not doing anything until we talk to him tomorrow. You owe him that much and I expect you to keep your word if he asks us to not tell her..." Hayley finishes her drink and pushes herself out of the booth. "I'm done. I'll see you in the morning."

Lanie finishes her drink and follows the PI out of the bar and out to the elevators. The ride to their rooms was spent in silence as they said their good nights.

X-X-X-X

Rodger Richards curses himself for his weakness and stupidity. It had been a year since he had seen a face from his old life. It was either serendipity or bad luck, depending on how you looked at it, that putt him in that bar tonight. His desire to reconnect with anyone from his old life had beaten out his common sense when approached Lanie and Hayley at the bar. All he had to do was remain silent and he could have walked right past them without a second look.

He couldn't understand why Lanie was so angry with him. Hayley seemed to understand and was happy to see him. Rick/Rodger pulls up his 'go' plan that he keeps on his laptop and decides to wait until tomorrow after his planned day with the two women. He considered leaving the city just as soon as the two women left for New York. He promised Alexis that he would spend Thanksgiving with her in Los Angeles and thought a couple of extra days there may be good for both of them.

He was so proud of his daughter being accepted into medical school and was pleased when she announced her detective days were over. He missed her like crazy and felt guilty for leaving the way that he did. To her credit, Alexis never blamed him for his actions, which might have had something to do with her taking Kate's side until she finally learned the truth. Or at least most of it. Rick was not cut out for a solitary life. He needed people, friends and family. He needed his wife...

Rick/Rodger woke at six just as the first slivers of light were appearing on the eastern horizon. After a short run, he showered and made himself a light breakfast. He checked his emails for any messages from the people who had access to it and submitted another chapter of would be his last Nikki Heat novel. Gina had threatened to expose his whereabouts if Rick didn't honor his contract with this final book. He had until next spring to submit it, but Rick wanted to get it over as quickly as he could. It was too hard to enter Nikki's world without reliving the painful memories again and again. To him Kate Beckett would forever be Nikki Heat to him.

By nine he was in his car and on his way to the hotel. He was ill prepared to act as a tour guide and assumed that the real reason for the request was to pump him for information anyway. He had already made up his mind that he would not tolerate Lanie treating him badly. He owed her nothing.

Thirty minutes later, he parks his car in the visitor parking area and enters the hotel. Guessing that the women were probably still eating their breakfast, he enters the restaurant looking for them. The two were sitting at a table near the entrance and spot him as he enters. Hayley gestures for him to join them and he takes a seat beside her.

"Would you like something to eat?" Hayley inquires.

"No thank you. I had breakfast already."

"How about a coffee at least?" She counters.

"Yeah, that sounds good." Rick replies.

Hayley gestures for the waitress to come over to their table and orders a coffee for Rick as hers is refilled. "So what's on our agenda today Mr Tour Guide?" She chuckles.

"I don't know. There's some fine restaurants and you've already been to my favorite bar... We could go to the beach, or I could take you out on my boat..."

Both women's eyes seem to light up at the mention of going out on a boat. "You have a boat?" Lanie asks.

Rick has to laugh at the question. "It would be kind of hard to take you out on a boat I didn't have?"

"You two don't get seasick do you? I've got some Dramamine at my place. We can stop by there before we head out if that's ok with you?"

"Sounds like a plan. Let's go." Hayley replies.

They're soon on the road, with Rick doing the driving. He points out things of interest as they make their way back to his house. A few minutes later, he pulls off of the main road and down the private drive that leads to his property. As they came to a stop in front of his beachfront house, both women admire the place.

"Do you own this? Castle?" Lanie inquires.

"I've got an option to buy that expires next month, so I need to make a decision soon." He replies as he opens the door to let them into the house. Both women notice how little furnishings are in the house. Rick sees them looking and responds. "It's a little light on furnishings at the moment... Would you like a tour?"

Both women nod in agreement and he guides them through the house. With the exception of the large bedroom which also seems to serve as his office the house is virtually empty. His kitchen has only what appliances were left from the previous owner and his coffee is supplied by Keurig machine. It was apparent that he was simply marking time down here.

He came out of the bathroom with a bottle of Dramamine and asks them if they want to take a couple, just in case. Both decline, but tell him to bring the bottle with them. They're back on the road and ten minutes later they arrive at the harbor where his boat is anchored. They walk along the pier to past a row of beautiful sailing yachts are moored. He gestures to the beautiful Endeavor 40 anchored in front of them.

"This, this yacht is yours?" Hayley asks incredulously. "I guess it helps to be rich..."

"A guy made me an offer I couldn't refuse..." Rick laughs. "No, the truth is the owner passed on a couple of years ago and the old girl fell into a bad state while his family fought over his estate... There was a sheriff's auction about six months ago and I bought her for a fraction of what she was worth. That's when I learned just how expensive boats are... It cost me nearly as much as I paid for her to make her sea worthy again..."

"Why do men always refer to boats as she?" Haley asks which all Rick can do is offer a shrug of his shoulders.

"So what's HER name?" Lanie asks.

They follow him to the stern of the huge sailboat and see the name, _'Loves Lost - Key West'._ Rick offers a sad smile and comments. "It seemed appropriate."

The three board the boat as Rick unites the moorings and raises the anchor. He fires up the engine and soon they are away from the dock. He stops again to top off the tanks and pickup something to eat for lunch while at sea. The boat slowly makes its way out to the open sea and Rick starts to raise the sails.

Soon they were cruising under the power of the wind only. Both women seemed to delight in the boat as Rick went below deck and reappeared with three beers, handing one to each. "You can go below deck and change into your swimsuits if you like..."

Rick tended to the boat and drank his beer while the two women simply enjoyed being on the water. Both Lanie and Hayley could see that Castle looked truly happy for the first time since they arrived. The ME walks up to the wheel where Castle is standing. "I'm sorry for the way I behaved last night Rick. Kate is miserable and I thought that you were having the time of your life without her... I didn't know the whole story until last night and I wish I could take so many things back... Can you forgive me?"

Castle drapes one of his arms over her shoulder and pulls her close to him as he places a soft kiss on top of her head. "I gave Kate everything she wanted Lanie... I tried to hold out for as long as I could, but I knew it was hopeless when she chose her secret investigation over our anniversary... She made her choice and it wasn't me." He slowly releases her and starts to wipe away a tear that he was trying to hide before she saw it.

Lanie had always liked Castle, but she had been friends with Beckett years before he ever forced himself onto her team. She had cried with her when Will decided that his career was more important than her. She assured her that Castle would return to her alive when he was abducted on their wedding day. She knew that Rick still loved Kate and probably always would. They were both miserable alone and she would make it her mission to force these two to see that their only chance at happiness was to see they were meant to be together.

"You still love her don't you?" Lanie asks.

All he can do in response is to offer her a sad smile as he takes another sip of his beer. Glancing at his watch he yells out for the women to stand clear of the sails as he turns against the wind to return to the harbor.

Lanie decides that she'll need all of the help she can get to pull this off. She'll need to get the help of Hayley and possibly even Martha if there's any chance of making this work. But first she needs to make absolutely sure that Kate is truly ready to make the type of commitment that is required for a marriage to work.

They returned to the marina just as the skies started to cloud up for the afternoon rain. Rick drove them back to the hotel and invited them out to dinner. They agreed to meet at one of the nicer restaurants not far from the hotel in two hours so that they could have time to get changed. Lanie and Hayley thanked Castle for the wonderful day on the water and looked forward to a repeat performance.

Rick drove back to his home and pondered what his next move would be. Hearing Lanie confess that Kate was miserable gave him no satisfaction. He didn't divorce her or leave New York to punish her. He did it because he thought that's what she wanted. After a quick shower, he stood in front of the mirror and looked how much he had changed. He wasn't sure anymore if he knew who he was. He trimmed his beard and pulled his hair into a pony tail with a rubber band.

Wearing one of the few dress shirts that he had and the lone sport coat he brought with him he was as formally dressed as he could get nowadays. He met the women at the restaurant and the dinner was filled with pleasant conversation, mostly regarding their day on the ocean. The weather had been perfect and the seas were calm which had only enhanced their experience.

The Cuban cuisine of the restaurant was excellent and Rick almost bragged that you couldn't get better outside of Havana. Being a native New Yorker he knew that wasn't true. He was sure that there was a restaurant somewhere in the city that could match it. He missed New York. The sights, the sounds, his friends, his family... Kate.

Both women could see the far away look he would get whenever either would mention something about New York. The remainder of the evening was spent talking about safe topics and the time seemed to pass too fast. They had a late afternoon flight back to New York from Miami tomorrow and wanted to purchase some souvenirs of their trip before they left the city. Rick suggested a couple of places that had better quality stuff and reasonable prices. Castle picked up the tab for dinner and they were soon in the parking lot saying their goodbyes. Hugs were exchanged along with promises to stay in touch that they knew would never be honored unless something drastically changed.

Rick returned to his home and immediately started working on his last Nikki Heat novel, Keyed Heat. Taking inspiration from his time in the area, the final installment in the series involves the detective becoming caught up in the murders of several Cuban nationals that leads her from New York to Key West. The final chapters of the book were starting to write themselves in his mind and he needed to capture them before he forgets. The next six hours were spent busily typing on his laptop.

He smiled as he re-read the final paragraph of what would be the last Nikki Heat novel. He would do for Nikki and Rook what he couldn't have for himself, a happy ending. He knew that it would please his fans and his publisher. Satisfied with his effort, he quickly prepares an email to Gina and includes the final chapters. Feeling very tired, he plops down on his bed and is soon fast asleep.

After his morning routine of a quick run followed by a shower and light breakfast, he checked his email to see if Gina had read the final chapters of his book. Her email was quite complimentary saying that she loved the ending and thanked him for finishing it ahead of schedule. 'Maybe hell did freeze over.' He chuckled to himself. He checked on line for flights and booked a first class seat on an earlier flight to LA than what he had originally planned. He liked the idea of being able to surprise Alexis by arriving early. Rick wasn't thrilled with the idea of spending the holiday with Meredith also, but felt that it was a small concession on his part for his daughter.

Lanie and Hayley arrived at the Miami airport two hours before their flight. Taking Castle's advice, they were able to get all of the souvenirs they wanted at very good prices. The two women had made a pact of sorts to get Rick back with Kate, but only if she proved to them that she was willing to make the changes needed to be a wife in more than name only. Hayley giving the medical examiner the real story about what happened between the couple, shook her faith in her best friend. That was why neither had called Kate to tell her where Rick was. Unless she was willing to put forth a sincere effort, telling her would only force a confrontation and probably another disappearance of Castle.

Hayley had called Martha the first night they saw Rick to tell her that he was alive and actually looking very well. She didn't have the heart to tell her how broken he really was. That despite the time and distance separating him from Kate, he was still hopelessly in love with her. Lanie and Hayley decide to recruit Martha for their mission to bring the two back together and would speak to her as soon as they returned to New York.


	7. Chapter 7: Rick's Thanksgiving

**Chapter Seven:**

Rick arrived in Los Angeles two days after Lanie and Hayley left Key West. Using his identity of Rodger Richards, he booked a room at a hotel not far from the apartment Alexis is living. He wanted to surprise her, but wasn't sure if showing up on her doorstep was the best idea given his change in appearance. It was nearly dark and his body was still on Key West time, so he opted to grab a quick meal and turn in for the night. He wasn't sure how long he would stay in LA. He'd toyed with the idea of moving here to be close to his daughter, but thought that he'd discuss it with her before he made a decision.

The next morning, he ate breakfast and decided to do a little sightseeing to kill time until Alexis was finished with her classes. He is sitting in the apartment complex parking lot waiting for her to arrive, and wonders how she will react seeing him for the first time in nearly a year.

Soon thereafter, he spots the British racing green Mini Cooper pulling into her reserved parking space. He waits to make sure it's her before he approaches. Rick calls out to her from a safe distance, not sure if she'll even recognize him. Alexis turns to where the sound is coming from, breaking into a sprint to reach her father. She practically leaps into his arms, pulling him close to her.

"Daddy, it's so good to see you. I've missed you so much..." She sniffs back a tear as she speaks.

He holds her to him and gives her a hug. "I've missed you too pumpkin. I'm so sorry for leaving like it did..." He releases her from his hug and she pushes back to give him the once over.

"Wow dad, you look so different."

"Is that good or bad?" Rick inquires.

She gives him a look as if trying to decide herself. "Too early to tell... I'm glad you lost weight and the tan looks good... I'm not so sure about the hair and the beard..."

Rick tries to offer a grin as he replies. "It's part of my disguise..."

"Who are you hiding from dad? It's been over a year now. When are you going home?" She loops her arm through his and leads him into her apartment complex.

Rick knew what she was really asking - when he was going back to New York and he wasn't sure if he ever was. "I was thinking of moving out here... Would you like that?"

The two stopped in front of her apartment's door and she gives him a serious look. "Of course I would dad, I'd love to be able to see you every day..." Alexis unlocks her door and the two enter her apartment.

Rick looks at the apartment appraisingly and smiles. His daughter's home reflected her personality and he was touched to see copies of most of his novels in her bookcase along with several pictures of the two of them throughout the place. "Love your place pumpkin..." Rick smiles and places a kiss on her cheek.

"Thanks dad." Alexis replies as she appears to be in deep thought. In reality, she was trying to think of a way to explain to her father how she had already made a dinner commitment for the evening - with Meredith. She was sure that her mother wouldn't mind, but wasn't sure how he would react to the news.

She opens the refrigerator and extracts a bottle of water. Looking to where Rick was standing, she calls out. "Would you like something to drink dad?"

Ricks smiles at his daughter and knows that something is amiss by her actions. "No thank you. Is there something wrong?"

"No, Yes, Maybe." She blurts out nervously. "I didn't think that you'd be here until tomorrow..."

"Hey, I understand. You've already made plans for the evening. Don't worry pumpkin, it's my fault..." Rick tries, but is unable to conceal the disappointment in his voice. "I'll see you tomorrow then..." He moves close to her to give her a hug, mad at himself for thinking about the fact that his daughter is an adult and has a life of her own.

"No dad! It's not what you think... Well, I guess it is what you think, but it's not like that... Mom and I go out to dinner every Tuesday... I wasn't sure if you'd want to go with us seeing as we'll all be together Thursday..."

Part of Rick was surprised to hear that Alexis and Meredith had grown closer in his absence. Another part of him couldn't help but feel angry with himself for running away from his old life to get away from Kate. Here he was a year later and nothing was resolved. He had no closure. His thoughts return to the problem at hand and simply replies. "That's ok. You go and have a good time... Tell Meredith that I said hello..."

"No. I've changed my mind. You're coming with me." Alexis resolutely states as she gives him a look that says she will not take no for an answer.

"Don't you think that you ought to warn her that I'm coming?" Castle asks, not sure how his ex will react to seeing him unannounced.

"Nonsense, she'll be thrilled to see you..." Alexis pauses as she gives him a wink. "Especially with how you look..."

"Okay..." Rick replies, not sure what exactly she meant. "Do you want me to follow you in my car?"

"You can ride with me... Unless you're afraid..." She laughs at her last comment remembering how nervous her father was when he took her out driving as a teen. He gives her the very same fearful look that he did then, which only makes her laugh even more. Alexis takes him by the hand and tugs on it as she walks to the door.

The drive took about thirty minutes and to Rick's credit, he only slammed on his imaginary brake pedal once. Alexis seemed to delight in his discomfort, which oddly made him feel more at ease. They arrived at the restaurant a few minutes early and Alexis decides to park her car herself rather than use the valet.

Meredith had a standing reservation at this restaurant every Tuesday night and the hostess immediately recognizes the young woman. "Ms Castle, it's so good to see you..." The young hostess gives Rick the once over, not recognizing her guest. "And who's the handsome man with you?" She purrs.

Alexis smiles with pride. "Mindy, this is my father." Rick gives the young woman a smile and extends his had which she shakes.

Mindy leads the pair to the their table and tells them that their waiter will be with them shortly. Rick thanks her and she blushes a little as she walks away. Alexis grins at her father's embarrassed reaction to the hostesses less than subtle reaction to him. "I think she likes you dad."

His face turns a brilliant shade of red at her comment and he quickly changes the subject. "So how's the food here?"

The waiter arrives before she could answer and takes their drink orders. He was pleased to see that she ordered a sparkling water and he opted for a beer. The two made small talk about nothing in particular when Meredith enters the dining room and nearly screams at the sight. She runs to the table as fast as her five inch stiletto heels would allow her to move.

"Oh my god! Is that really you Ricky?" She squeals as she nears their table.

Rick rises up from his seat to greet her. "Surprise?" He asks.

She wraps her arms around him and squeezes, doing her best impression of a boa constrictor. "How long has it been Ricky? Three, Four years?" She releases him from her grasp and looks at him smiling. "You look good Ricky... Real good." The hungry look she gives him scares Rick and causes Alexis to laugh out loud.

"Mom! Quit hitting on dad." She comments between laughs.

"I'm not hitting on him." Meredith replies. "I was simply admiring the view." She smiles and takes her seat facing him at the table. "So Ricky, what have you done with yourself? And where have you been? Alexis has been worried sick about you..."

The guilt that Castle already felt was only amplified by Meredith's questions. At that moment he was glad that he didn't drive there because he would have been trying to find some reason to leave. He deserved to face his daughter's wraith for his actions, but not his ex-wife twice removed.

"I've know where dad has been and I know why. I understand why he did it." Alexis replies in defense of her father. "He came a long way to see me and I'm happy to see him." She gives Meredith a look that conveyed the topic was closed.

The remainder of the evening was spent with Alexis talking about school, or Meredith talking about her latest project. Rick stayed out of the conversation as much as possible. His daughter avoided any conversation regarding New York, or Kate Beckett. To her credit, Meredith honored her daughter's demand that she not mention Beckett. This had been agreed to when Alexis first learned that her father was coming to California to see her.

They enjoyed their meal and kept the conversation flowing. Meredith kept giving him sympathetic glances that puzzled him. Did she pity him?

The conversation finally slowed as they were enjoying their desert and coffees. Rick decides to add something to the conversation. "You'll never guess who showed up at my favorite bar in the city..."

Alexis tenses a little, afraid that Beckett somehow found out about where her father was from either Martha, Gina or Paula, the only people besides her that knew where he was living. "Who dad?"

"Lanie and Hayley. The had flown down for a weekend and were with another couple... I heard Lanie talking about me to her friends and decided to set the record straight..." Rick replies.

Alexis was shocked that her father would reveal himself to Beckett's best friend. He had to know that she'd run straight back to New York and tell her where he was. She wondered if her father really wanted to be found. "How'd that go dad?"

"Strange. At first Lanie was pissed-off at me, but the next day she apologized to me while we were out on my boat... Hayley must have set her straight..."

Alexis listened intently to her father, while Meredith only heard one word. "Did you say that you have a boat? What type?"

Rick smiles at her question. It was typical of her. "It's a sailboat. Endeavor 40. Helps me fill the time..."

She reaches across the table taking his hand in hers. "Maybe you could take us out on it sometime... I've always wanted to go sailing..."

"That sounds like a great idea dad." Alexis chimes in. "The semester break is in two weeks and I promised grams that I'd come to New York for Christmas... Maybe mom and I could come to Florida a few days early..."

The thought of having Meredith in his home was unnerving to him. He could tell by her looks that she was more than willing climb into his bed again. Getting Meredith into bed was never a problem. No, the problem was she wasn't the woman that he wanted in his bed and she never would be. Rick pastes a smile on his face and replies. "Sure thing pumpkin. It sounds like fun..."

The meal ends and goodbyes were exchanged. Meredith wraps her arms around Rick and whispers into his ear about how much she misses him and he could come to 'see' her anytime. Castle gives her a sad smile and places a kiss on her cheek. Soon he and Alexis are back on the highway.


	8. Chapter 8: An Intervention of Sorts

**Chapter Eight:**

Kate was surprised to see on the caller ID of her phone that Martha would be calling her. She hadn't spoken to her in a couple of months and immediately she assumes that something bad has happened to Rick. "Hello Martha. How are you?"

"Hello Katherine. I'm doing fine... I was wondering if you had plans for Thanksgiving?..."

To say that Kate was stunned by Martha's invitation would be an understatement. Before she could speak, Martha continues. "I've already invited your father and he's agreed to come if you do..."

Effectively taking away her only excuse for turning down the offer, she sighs and reluctantly agrees, asking if there's anything that she needs to bring. "Just yourself. I'm having the dinner catered as my cooking skills have been questioned by some..." She replies with what sounds like a pout.

Kate stifles a giggle at the thought of Martha cooking. She'd seen first hand just how inept the senior redhead was in the kitchen and was secretly grateful that Martha wasn't cooking. "Is anyone else going to be there?" Kate asks, hoping against hope that Rick may appear.

"Besides us, your father, Lanie and Hayley... Is there someone you want to bring?" Martha inquires.

"No, just me." She replies sadly hearing that Rick wasn't going to be there.

The call ends and Kate just sits there wondering why Martha invites her to dinner like she has. Her thoughts drifted back to the time during Rick's abduction. How worried she was for him, not knowing if he was alive, but confident that he would do anything to get back to her.

The present situation was so much worse. Knowing that he was alive, but willing to give up his friends and family just to avoid her hurt so much more. But her conscience then reminds her that she was the one who left him, that she was the one that wanted him to give her space. "I didn't mean forever." She whispers out loud to herself as she takes another sip from her glass as she looks around the lonely loft.

Kate arrives at Martha's apartment which was only a block away from her acting school. Despite her age, Martha was as vibrant as ever and greets her with a hug as she opens the door. "Katherine darling, it's so good to see you. Everyone is here already." Martha gestures for her to enter and Kate can see her father, Lanie and Hayley standing around the table. The elder redhead takes Kate's coat and places it with the others on the chair by the door. "Come, sit down, dinner's ready." Martha gestures to the table.

They sit down and after Jim gives a prayer of thanks and start to eat. Martha has spared no expense and the layout has virtually anything that one would associate with a Thanksgiving dinner. The conversation flowed freely and everyone seemed to be in a good mood.

It was Jim who asks Lanie and Hayley about their recent trip to Florida. The four of them had decided that an intervention of sorts was needed. After Lanie and Hayley returned from Key West, they met with Martha to discuss what they saw. They knew that both Kate and Rick were miserable being apart, but agreed that unless Kate was ready to make a real commitment to him, things would only be worse if they met. Jim was recruited by Martha to help and he readily agrees,

"So, I hear you two went to Florida for a long weekend..." Jim inquires, earning a puzzled look from Kate and wry smile from Martha.

"Yes Mr Beckett. We spent a couple of days in Key West with a couple of doctors that I went to school with. We had a great time..." Lanie answers.

"Yeah, we went to this one bar that reminded me so much of The Olde Haunt, it was spooky..." Hayley adds.

"Did you meet anyone interesting?" Jim inquires, which makes Kate wonder why he would ask such a question in the first place.

"Yeah, there was this one guy... About six-two with shoulder length hair and a beard... A real hunk..." Hayley replies with a grin.

"Took us out on his sailboat, or should I say yacht. Boy's loaded I'd bet." Lanie adds with a smirk of her own. Her expression then softens. "I'd have tried to make a play for him, but it was obvious his heart was broken..."

"Do you have any pictures of this mystery man?" Martha then asks as she looks to see of Kate is listening to the conversation.

Kate is puzzled as to why her father or Martha would care about some guy that her friends met while in Florida. Hayley pulls out her cellphone and replies. "Of course I do Martha. Would you like to see?" The PI scrolls through her pictures to the ones that were taken with Rick, Lanie and herself. She gets up from the table and walks around the where Martha is sitting and hands her the phone. The elder redhead makes the appropriate oohs and aaas at the pictures.

Kate's curiosity is piqued at the actions of the two women and Lanie comments. "Let Kate see him. Maybe a hunk like that would perk her up..." She has to laugh out loud. "Come on Kate, you know you're curious..."

Kate sighs and sticks out her hand. "Fine. Let me see what has you two worked up like a couple of school girls..." Martha hands her the phone and Kate stares at the first picture, not sure if what she was seeing was real. It looked like Rick, sort of. Well if Rick had lost thirty pounds, let his hair and beard grow and dressed like a beach bum... She then scrolled though the other pictures that she had taken of him alone at the helm of his boat and nearly dropped the phone as the realization hit her. "It's really him, isn't it?" She asks in a small voice as she touches the screen lovingly. "How did you find him?"

Everyone at the table smiles at her reaction as Lanie begins to speak. "It was more like he found us... We were sitting in this bar that reminded us of The Olde Haunt with my friends. We started talking about the place and Rick. My friend is a huge fan of his and started asking questions about him... The next thing I know, he's standing by our table..."

"Why didn't you tell me that you found him?" Kate asks, the hurt apparent in her voice.

"Because I need to know that you're ready to make the type of commitment to my son that he deserves from you." Martha answers for the two women.

"Kate, he's miserable. He's living in one room of his beautiful beach house like a hermit. The only thing that he gets any enjoyment from is his sailboat... He still loves you..." Lanie quickly adds.

Kate then looks at her father. "You knew about this?" She was almost in tears now.

"Katie, until you can honestly admit that you'll always put Rick first in your life, you're wasting your time... And his... He needs a wife that can care for him as much as he cares for her... Can you say that?" Jim adds keeping his voice even and calming.

"I'm out of here. Don't you think Rick should be the one to decide?" Kate glares at the others at the table as she starts to stand.

"He's not there Katie." Jim tells her as the others nod their heads in agreement.

"Where is he then? Or is this some type of sick joke?" Kate growls at the group staring at her.

"And what exactly would you say to him? What will you do to convince him that you're serious?" Martha inquires.

"I, I'd tell him how much I love him and I'll do anything if he'll just give me the chance..."

"But you've said that before and then left him without a word as to why. What's different this time?" Martha counters.

"Johanna always said that actions speak louder than words Katie. What are you willing to do to prove that what you say is more than just words?" Jim adds.

Kate was stunned that her father would use one of her mother's favorite sayings against her, but knew there was more than a kernel of truth in what he was saying. She had always been a woman of action more than words. She needed a plan. She sighs and returns to her seat defeated. "I'll do anything..."

"If you're serious, we'll do everything we can to help." Lanie comments and everyone nods in agreement. "Flying down to Florida and ambushing him isn't the answer."

"And neither is expecting him to meet you here in New York..." Hayley adds.

"We need need someplace where neither of you can run from..." Martha comments.

"Did you say that Rick has a boat?" Jim asks.

"It's a forty foot yacht with a sail." Hayley corrects. "You could live in that thing..."

Jim smiles at the thought. "I always wanted a boat like that. Maybe I could talk Rick into taking a trip with me to the Caribbean or someplace like that?... The all we'd have to do is figure out a way for Katie to stowaway on the boat for the return trip..."

"Nah, it would never work out, Castle's heartbroken, not brain dead." Lanie replies.

The conspirators all nod their head in agreement that a plan like this would never work. There were too many things that had to happen and Jim contacting him out of the blue would certainly raise suspicions.

"What about Alexis? She's still planning on coming to the city during semester break isn't she?" Hayley asks and Martha nods.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea." Martha adds. "I'm not sure how she'd feel about being involved in any plan to trick her father into seeing Kate..." Martha gives Beckett an apologetic look. "She took the whole divorce thing pretty hard because she had defended you to him..."

"Well there you go Katie. The first thing that you need to do is make amends with Alexis." Jim states matter-of-factly.

Kate simply nods at her father's comment. She knew that she needed Alexis as an ally to have any chance of getting Castle back. But she also knew that it wouldn't be easy. Mere words would not be enough for her either as she was just like Rick.


	9. Chapter 9:

**Chapter Nine:**

Rick was boarding the plane for his red-eye flight back to Miami. He hoped to get at least an hour of two of sleep, but doubted he would. Being with Alexis and Meredith for Thanksgiving, getting a glimpse at what life could have been like as a family, made him miss Kate even more than he did normally. He chastised himself for his weakness. It had been over a year now and it was time to move on. He couldn't shake the thought that he needed to face her and allow both of them to get the closure that they needed to move on with their lives.

Rick knew that Kate had taken over his PI business and that it was thriving from his emails to Hayley. He was happy that she was able to do something after her career in law enforcement had been ended against her will. Castle assumed that the reason she was miserable had more to do with the loss of her chosen profession than his departure. After all, she had chosen her job over him time and time again.

The jet lands just as the sun starts to rise on the horizon. He did manage to get about an hour of sleep which was more than he expected. Once through baggage claim, he boarded the shuttle that took him to long term parking. Once back on the highway, Rick spent the majority of the drive back to the Keyes planning his next moves. The option on his home was coming up and he had to decided if he wanted to buy it, or move again. He hated to admit that he missed New York more than he thought that he would.

He missed Kate...

X-X-X-X

Martha had called Alexis a few days after the Thanksgiving dinner slash let's get Rick back with Kate strategy session. The elder redhead's goal was to test the waters and see how Alexis would react to contact from Kate. The last thing she wanted to do was set Beckett up for further rejection at the moment. Martha knew that Alexis' anger was justified, but needed to put it aside for her father.

Being with her father just a few days earlier and seeing just how miserable he was, actually worked to Martha's advantage in convincing Alexis that her father needed Kate. The younger Castle didn't actually embrace the idea at first, but could understand the logic. Kate's therapy sessions with Dr Burke helped her understand her obsessive behavior and what she had to do to prevent it in the future. Martha wanted to convince Alexis that her father needed Kate as much as she needed him. She wanted Alexis' help and support.

The younger Castle was apprehensive that Kate could really change. She knew that her father loved Beckett and probably always would. She agreed to at least listen to what Kate had to say, but promised nothing.

Martha called Kate soon after she spoke to Alexis with the news. Kate was pleased, but knew that getting her former step-daughter's support will not be easy. She was actually touched that Alexis cared enough for her father to want to protect him, even from her. As she considered how she would approach Alexis, Kate thinks that a face to face meeting may be the best way to prove that she truly has changed.

Beckett ran the idea by Martha to get her opinion. Rick's mother suggests that maybe a phone call from Kate first may be a good way to 'test the waters', before making the effort of flying across the country.

X-X-X-X

Kate calls Alexis the next evening. She made sure that she called after school and when the young redhead would be home. The phone rang several times and with each passing ring, Kate's hopes seemed to diminish, assuming Alexis has changed her mind.

On the sixth ring, an obviously out of breath Alexis answers. "Hello?"

Kate realizes that she has a new number now and that she hasn't spoken to Alexis in over a year. She speaks quickly before the younger Castle can hang up. "Hello Alexis, It's Kate..."

There was an extended pause before she replies and Kate starts to wonder if this had been a good idea after all. "Kate. Grams told me that you might call..."

"Is this a bad time? I can call back later if it is." Kate nervously inquires.

"No, that's fine. I was just changing when you called."

"I want to apologize for how I behaved last year. There's no excuse for the way I treated your father. I was so caught up with my compulsive actions, that I hurt everyone I cared for... I let you think that my leaving your father was somehow his fault... I lost your father and you through my actions... Saying that I'm sorry seems so small in comparison to the damage done, but if you'll give me the chance, I'll prove to you that I've changed..."

There was another extended silence as Alexis considered everything that Kate said. Alexis had grown close to Kate over the years and was thrilled when she finally married her father. In spite of their trials and tribulations, the two always seemed to come out stronger in the end. Alexis liked the idea of being her step daughter and the two had grown closer until that fateful day. "I really don't know what to say... I want to believe that you've changed... You've hurt dad so many times. You knew that he was in love with you for a long time and pretended not to notice... I, I don't know what you want from me..."

Kate could only sigh in resignation. She knew that fixing things with Alexis would be nearly as hard as Rick because they were so much alike. Beckett decides to go all in with her former step-daughter. "I want to fix things between us... I don't expect you to just accept me at my word, because I've broken it before... I didn't understand how special the bond that we shared was until it was gone..."

Kate pauses for a moment to hear how the younger Castle reacted to her comments. Hearing nothing, she decides to plow on and hope for the best. "I was wondering if we could meet to talk about this. I can fly out to LA whenever, if you'll just talk with me. I miss you Alexis. I miss your father so much it hurts and I know that I can't get him back without your help..."

Alexis knew that Kate was correct about needing her help. She'd seen first hand how much his self-imposed exile had cost him and she wanted her father back the way he used to be. In spite of everything that Kate said to her, she still didn't completely trust her. She was afraid that Beckett would say or do whatever she had to get him back and then abandon him for something else that grabbed her attention. "I want to believe you... But I don't know if I can. I love my father more than anything... Leaving you and his marriage killed something inside of him and it's your fault... He's miserable. He tries to act like everything is fine, but you can see it in his eyes. There's no light there like there used to be..."

Hearing Alexis admit just how hard this had been on Rick only made the guilt that Kate felt even worse. "I know Alexis and I wish that I could go back to that day this whole mess started... But I'm not sure that I could have changed anything. It took months of therapy for me to realize why I behaved the way I did... I know it sounds like I'm making excuses, but I'm not. This compulsive behavior was triggered when my mother died. It was why I gave up on my dreams to become a cop in the first place..."

"I never understood it and for a while I thought that I had it under control, but then I met your father... He also has a compulsion to know the story, the reason why people do the things they do... He wanted to know the story behind my mother's murder and started his own investigation without my knowledge..."

"So you're trying to say that this is dads fault?" Alexis angrily inquires.

"No, not at all Alexis. Your father didn't understand how much of my life had been wasted following leads that went nowhere. How I would sneak into the records room at night and look at her case over and over again searching for something that the cops assigned to the case had missed... Your father saw that I was broken the first time we met and he told me so..."

"Your father thought that he was helping me... He thought he could 'fix' me if he solved my mother's case, but all he did was provide me with an excuse to give in to my obsession... At first I fought it, I sent him away to avoid the temptation... And for a while it worked, but then we caught the man that actually murdered my mother... I learned that someone had hired him to kill her... Someone with power and influence... But I had to shoot him to save your father before he could tell me who hired him..." Kate's voice starts to waver at the image of Rick with a gun stuck in his side and the look on his face.

Kate waits and listens as there is nothing but silence on the other end of the line. She was pretty sure that Castle never told his daughter just how close to death he was that day. For the briefest of moments, the image of Castle lying on the floor of the precinct bleeding out instead of Coonan flashed in her mind. She remembered the nightmares she had of that following the incident. "Your father wanted to quit working with me after that... Said that he was in my way... That I needed a real partner... I knew then that your dad was special to me, but I was too afraid to admit it to myself. So I asked him to stay, that I liked having him around... And he stayed for me..."

The first words out of Alexis' mouth surprised her after the silence. Kate never doubted two things; one, that the redhead was fiercely loyal to her father and two, that she was as intelligent as she was loyal. "If I were to agree to help you and I'm not saying that I am, do you have any idea how you're going to convince him that you truly have changed? That you're willing to become the wife he wants, the wife he deserves?"

"I, I honestly don't know Alexis... That's why I need your help..."

"Maybe coming out to LA isn't such a bad idea... Maybe we can figure out something..."

"I could meet you whenever you're available Alexis." Kate replies, now hopeful.

"I've got classes and a couple of important tests that I need to study for... Maybe you could come in for the weekend..."

"I'll text you with my flight information as soon as I can make reservations." Kate answers without hesitation, seizing the opportunity offered to her.

"I guess I'll see you when you get here then... Goodnight Kate."

"Goodnight Alexis. Take care..."

"You too..." Alexis replies as the call ends and Kate can't help but smile as if a huge weight has been lifted from her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten:**

Rick was just finishing reading his emails from Gina and Paula. Both were pleased with the ending of what he had said was to be his last Nikki Heat novel and both were anxious to get him under a new contract for more. Gina had even hinted that he could start another series with a new contract from Black Pawn under the provision that if the new series didn't fare as well, he would provide at least one more Nikki Heat novel.

Gina wanted him to meet with the Black Pawn executives along with his lawyer to review the new contract as soon as possible. She knew how much he wanted to avoid coming to the city, but knew this was needed.

Secretly, Rick had been looking for an excuse to return to New York since he had met with Lanie and Hayley. He missed his home and his friends. He missed Kate most of all. He could travel incognito as Rodger Richards and see how things have been going for everyone in his absence. Castle types a quick reply and tells Gina that he'll be arriving in the city in the next day or so and that he'd provide more details once he was in the city.

Rick booked a seat on the flight from Miami to New York leaving the next morning. He booked a room at the Waldorf and made arrangements for a driver from the airport under his alias. Satisfied with his effort, he focused his attention on his new novel, loosely based upon his father - an aging assassin whom life has passed by... It would be more introspective with less action than Derrick Storm, but Rick was sure there was a story to tell that would help him understand his father. He just hoped Gina would publish it.

Rick's flight was delayed due to mechanical problems and didn't arrive at JFK until late that afternoon. He had called the service and warned them that his flight was going to be late. The driver that ended up picking Rick up had just arrived with a departing passenger flying out to Los Angeles on the 6:00 pm flight. Castle picks up the garment bag containing his new suit that he had purchased while in LA from the baggage claim area and exits the airport. He almost walks past the driver holding up the sign for Rodger Richards not realizing that he was waiting for him.

Rick didn't understand just how much he missed the city until he rode through the traffic, taking in the sights and sounds that were unique to New York. They soon arrived at the Waldorf and Rick checked into his room. Confident that no one would recognize him, he decides to take a stroll along the street near the hotel. He returns to the hotel and composes a quick email to Gina to let him know that he arrived and where he was staying. She calls him a few minutes later to confirm their meeting tomorrow. His second ex-wife seemed genuinely happy to know that he was in the city and was looking forward to seeing him for the first time in over a year.

Gina may have fought with him constantly, may have nagged him incessantly, but she always had his best interests at heart. She was the one that offered a reconciliation when she saw how much Kate Beckett had hurt him by dating Tom Deming. Granted, she had her own ulterior motives for getting him away from the city to complete his book, but she honestly tried to make things work. Ultimately, the things that drove them apart the first time, pulled them apart again. The difference was this time, it was Rick that was in love with another.

Castle orders room service and continues to work on the outline for his new novel, hoping to have something to present to her tomorrow. The more he wrote, the more confidence he felt that this was a good story.

X-X-X-X

On a whim, Kate decided to fly out to Los Angeles a day earlier than she planned. She thought that a day away from the city would be good for her and help prepare her for meeting Alexis after all this time. She uses the same limo service that Rick always did and decided to fly first class. She didn't know why, but it made her feel closer to him. She had no idea just how close she actually was to him as she enters airport security at almost the exact moment that he was exiting.

The five hour flight seemed to take forever and she was tired upon arrival. Taking the single carry-on that she brought with her, she bypassed baggage claim and took the shuttle to her rental car. She couldn't help but smile as she remembered her last time in the city. How Rick had rescued her from sitting between two very large men in coach with a seat he reserved for her in first class. How she had to hide just how thrilled she felt cruising around the city in the Ferrari he had rented. How special he made her feel by sharing his suite at the Beverly Hills Hilton with her.

How close she came to following him into his bedroom that night after he confessed that she was a mystery that he would never solve...

X-X-X-X

His meetings with Black Pawn went much better than he thought they would. They were able to finalize the terms of a new contract for three books to be delivered at his customary rate of one per year. In exchange for a larger percentage of the sales, he agreed to 200 hours of promotional work per title. He did not promote his last book for obvious reasons and Gina had been quite understanding about it. Luckily the reviews and sales were strong enough that his customary book signings weren't necessary.

Gina invited Rick for drinks to celebrate at one of the bars nearby that they used to frequent. Feeling pleased with the way things went today, he agreed. Gina was a regular in the bar and Black Pawn had a table reserved all the time for entertaining clients. It was one of the trendier bars in the city and paparazzi were always camped outside, hoping to catch a celebrity.

After sharing a couple of drinks, Gina invited Rick to dinner, which he politely declined. She was disappointed, but understood and they walked back out hailing their respective cabs. After a hug and a kiss on the cheek, they got in their cabs heading in opposite directions.

Rick gave the driver the address of the Olde Haunt. Hayley had told him how she, Lanie and Kate made a regular visit to his bar every Friday night. His desire to sneak a glimpse at Kate, outweighed the risk of being seen by her. He was fairly sure that unless he was called out by one of the two women who knew what he looked like now, she wouldn't recognize him from a distance. Or at least he hoped so...

He exits the cab, paying the driver and is soon down the steps to the door. Castle takes a calming breath as he opens the door and walks inside. He was pleased to see that the place was packed. His manager Mike, had done an excellent job with the place reducing his role to that of check writer. He looks into the room at what was his reserved booth. Lanie was there along with Hayley enjoying their drinks. The piano was playing some oldie and everyone seemed to be having a good time.

Rick walks to the bar and orders a beer. The barmaid must have been hired since he left the city as he didn't recognize her. He stands by the bar and watches the two women in the booth wondering if Kate will appear. The longer he stand there, the more anxious he becomes. He turns back to the bar and asks if Mike is in. She gives him an appraising look and replies that he's down in the owner's office.

Castle thanks her and shoves a twenty in her tip jar. He then asks her to send a round of drinks to the two women seated in what used to be his booth. He handed her another twenty and told the barmaid to tell them that the drinks were from an old friend from Key West. Rick walked down to the stairs and knocked on the door.

After a few seconds, Mike calls out for him to enter. Rick opens the door and walks into what used to be his office, standing in front of the desk. Mike looks up from his computer and sees the man standing before him. "Can I help you?" Mike asks, annoyed that his employees would send someone down here.

"I'm not sure. I was looking for the owner..."

Mike nearly falls out of his chair as he immediately recognizes the voice. "As I live and breathe, it's you isn't it?"

Castle can only give him a sheepish grin as Mike bolts around the desk to give him a hug. "I thought that you were gone forever. I'm so glad to see that you're alive..." He stops to give him the once over. "You look so different... Not so sure about the hair, but you look like you've lost fifty pounds..."

"Actually it was thirty five." Rick replies with a grin. "Looks like you're doing ok too..."

"Getting bored with living the good life in paradise? Decide that you missed the big city?" Mike asks with a laugh.

"Something like that Mike."

The manager's smile fades as he gives Castle a solemn look. "No, seriously Rick. Is everything ok? I mean you up and vanish without a trace over a year ago... Next thing I know, I'm working for your lawyer..."

"Sorry about that, but some things came up and I had to get away..."

Mike knew what Castle really meant - that he had to get away from his ex-wife. "Yeah, I understand. I was sad to see that you and the missus weren't able to make things work..."

Rick was unable to hide his grimace at the reminder of his failure to be enough for Kate. Mike immediately wished he'd kept his mouth shut seeing the obvious pain Castle was in at the mention of his ex-wife. Mike wondered if he knew that his ex was in this bar every Friday night.

Mike opens the drawer in what really was Castle's desk and produces a bottle from Jimmy Walker's secret stash and two glasses. "Let's celebrate the return of the prodigal owner with a drink of the good stuff..."

Rick takes a seat facing the desk and gestures for the man to pour, which he does. Mike slides a glass to him which he picks up and then moves to his nose. He smiles as he takes in the aroma of the fine whisky. "I forgot just how wonderful this smelled..."

"It tastes even better than it smells." Mike smirks as he holds up his glass for a toast. "To the good stuff." He clinks his glass with Rick's before taking a large swig of the amber liquid. Castle follows suit and smiles as the whiskey works its way down his throat. He had given up on all hard liquor since he left New York, hoping to avoid what happened to Jim Beckett when he lost Johanna. Rick knew that it wasn't the same, but when he left the city he didn't know if the next call he would get would be someone telling him that she had been killed because of her all consuming quest.

The two men made small talk about sports and local politics as the tension in the room seemed to ease with each sip of the whiskey. Maybe fifteen minutes had elapsed since he came into the office when there was a knock on the door. "It's open!" Mike yells out.

The door slowly opens and in marches Hayley and Lanie, both giving Rick an angry glare. "Richard Castle... What are you doing here?" Lanie angrily asks.

"The last time I checked, I own this place." Rick replies as he takes another sip of Jimmy Walker's finest.

"You know what I mean. Why didn't you warn us? I mean, what if Kate came with us..." She stops and smiles as she assumes she knows why he is back in the city. "Oh my god! You did come back for our girl!" Lanie is almost giddy now, happy for her friend.

"First, I had to come to the city to finalize a new contract with Black Pawn... Second, I wanted to check on this place... And... What do you mean if Kate came with you?..."

"Hayley has to laugh at the surprised look on his face. She hadn't known Rick very long before he left, but she could tell that he was an honest man. While his reasons for coming to the city were legitimate, he had hoped to see his ex-wife. The disappointment in his eyes was all the proof she needed. Feeling sorry for him, she decides to tell Rick where Kate is and why.

"You'll never guess where she is..." Hayley comments with a chuckle.

"If you tell me Key West, then I need to seriously rethink who I trust..." He looks directly at Lanie as he speaks, assuming that she put her best friend above her promise to him.

"Don't give me that look writer boy..." Lanie gives him her own glare and then softens. "Our girl is out in LA right now trying to fix things with your daughter... Trying to make amends for hurting Alexis when she hurt you..."

Stunned by Lanie's revelation, Rick wasn't sure how to respond. The gesture itself of flying across the country to try and make amends with Alexis meant so much more than words and was proof that she wanted to change. Then the cynic in him took over, telling him that all she is doing is trying to obtain some form of closure so that she can move on.

The ME stood there and watched the expression on his face change from shocked, to pleased and then to defeat in a matter of seconds as he tried to analyze what she had said and came to the wrong conclusion. "Don't you dare give up on her now. She's doing this for you... To prove to you she's changed..." Lanie's voice was almost menacing.

Mike decides to break the tension in the room by offering the ladies a drink. Hayley readily accepts as she had heard Castle speak of his secret stash of Jimmy Walker's whiskey. Lanie declines as she and Rick seem intent on staring at each other. He pours her a glass and hands it to her. She takes a tentative sip of the liquid and smiles, knowing this may be the finest whiskey that she'll ever have.

The ME knew that Rick was afraid to believe that what she said was true. His failed marriages had been the topic of discussion between her and Kate years before they ever got together for the first time. It had been the reason why Kate avoided his advances in the first place and why she nearly lost him when she decided that a career with the Attorney General was more rewarding than a life with him. Granted, Meredith planting seeds of doubt with her didn't help either.

It is Mike who breaks the uncomfortable silence in the room. "Boss, how long have I worked for you now? Is it five years?" Rick simply nods his head in response. "And in those five years the only times that you were ever truly happy were when you and Kate were together. I don't know why you left New York, but I'm sure that you had a good reason... I can also see that you still love that woman and it sounds like she still loves you... If I were you, I'd be on the next flight to LA..." Mike starts to continue when both women shout "No!" before he could speak.

"Kate needs to do this own her own. Alexis is the most important woman in Rick's life besides her and she needs to win her over." Lanie comments.

Rick nods his head in agreement and speaks for the first time in several minutes. "How long will she be staying out there?"

"At least the weekend. She was determined to win your daughter over and we all know how she gets when she has a goal..." Lanie speaks and then wishes she could take it back as it was her compulsive behavior that started all of this.

"Yeah, like a pit-bull on a pant leg..." Rick chuckles and takes another sip of his drink. He knew what it meant for Kate to face the one woman that would not easily give in to her. Getting Martha on her side would have been easy, but Alexis... No, this was the proof that he wanted to see she was serious about them. Castle pulls his cellphone from his pocket and starts to look for his travel app.

"What do you think you're doing?" Hayley asks.

"What'd ya think I'm doing? I'm looking for the next flight to LA." Rick replies as he works the phone with both hands, never looking away from it.

Lanie reaches over to where he is sitting and places he hand over his, stopping him. "Oh no you don't writer-boy. You've wasted a year hiding from everyone, especially Kate... Another couple of days won't make a difference. Besides, our girl needs to do this for both of you..." She then smiles and comments. "Besides, we need to make you look like the guy it would be worth waiting a year for..."

Mike and Hayley both laugh at the comment while Castle gives them all an annoyed look.

Lanie continues with her thoughts. "Don't get me wrong Castle, the tan and the weight loss both look good on you, but the hair? And that beard? That look may have worked in Key West, but you're back in the Big Apple..."

"So what's the plan fearless leader?" Rick laughs.

Mike laughs at the conversation, glad that he doesn't have to face these two women. "Just do whatever they tell you to do Rick. Resistance is futile..." He laughs again as he refills everyone's glasses.


	11. Chapter 11: An Awkward Reunion

**Chapter Eleven:**

Kate pulls her rental into the apartment's parking lot. She glances again at her father's wristwatch. Alexis said to meet her at 7:00 pm and there was no way she'd be late. Despite giving herself ample time for the drive, the typical Friday rush hour traffic of LA made it closer than what she expected, even for New York. Luckily, Alexis must have be caught in the same traffic as the British racing green Mini that she told Kate she was driving was nowhere to be seen.

Kate had a brief moment of doubt, debating if facing Alexis on her 'home' turf was a good idea after all. 'Maybe she changed her mind.' Beckett wonders to herself as she scans the parking lot again. A few minutes later after wondering why she was here for the what seemed like the hundredth time, she sees the little green car pull into the lot. She can see the flaming red hair even from this distance and climbs out of her car. She'd faced down hardened criminals without a second thought, yet the idea of facing Alexis made her knees weak.

Alexis got out of the car and was scanning the lot to see if she saw Kate. She spotted her approaching and her body seemed to uncontrollably tense at the sight of the woman responsible for her father's disappearance. She had promised Kate a chance to talk and she would honor that. Anything besides that was up for grabs.

Kate smiles as she approaches Alexis, truly glad to see her after all of this time. She stops a foot or so away from the younger Castle, not sure if she should shake her hand or give her a hug, or do nothing. She opted for the third. "Alexis, it's so good to see you... It's been too long..."

Alexis gives Kate an appraising look, taking in Beckett's changes physically. She had lost weight, her normally thin frame and face now looking gaunt. It made her look older, sadder. "It's good to see you too Beckett." Her words came slowly, guarded.

"Have you eaten?" Kate asks hoping to start a safe conversation.

"No and I skipped lunch studying for an anatomy test..."

"Let's go get dinner. You pick the place and I'll drive..."

Alexis is still wary of Kate, but agrees. "Let me drop off my books and change into something different." Kate nods and follows the redhead into her apartment building. Beckett was impressed with the younger Castle's apartment. It reflected her tastes and the maturity that she had beyond her actual age. Beckett complimented her on her apartment and Alexis asks if she'd like something to drink while she changes. Kate declines and takes a seat on the sofa to wait. She scans the apartment and sees pictures and mementos of her life in New York. Several of the pictures Kate remembered seeing in the loft before she made the fateful decision to leave. Nearly all of them were of the redhead and her father. A few were of Alexis and her mother or Martha. There were none of her. Kate couldn't help but wonder if Rick's new home was equally devoid of any mementos of his life with her.

Alexis emerges from her bedroom dressed similarly to Kate. "I figure that wherever we eat, we'll be dressed appropriately." She comments with a small smile that reminds Kate of her father.

"Let's go. You pick the place. Anywhere you like..." Kate replies.

The two women rode in silence to a restaurant not far from her apartment. Kate would make the occasional comment about traffic and the weather, safe topics and Alexis would respond in kind. They ended up having dinner at a small Italian family-owned place that Alexis had discovered. The two women shared a bottle of wine, but Kate made sure to limit her intake. It felt strange to be drinking with the woman she could still see as a girl. They made small talk during their meal, Alexis talked about medical school and how much time it took to keep her grades as high as she was accustomed to. Little Castle was curious to hear how the PI agency was doing as she still felt a small part of it. She was pleased to hear that the business was thriving and that Kate was considering hiring more investigators.

As they were sharing their desert and coffee, they both knew that all of the safe topics had been addressed. It was Alexis that decided to get to the difficult, but much needed part of their conversation. "Why did you leave dad like you did?" She looks directly at Kate as she speaks in an even tone.

Despite knowing that these questions would be asked, she wasn't fully prepared for how to respond. "I, I thought that I was protecting your father... That I was protecting you and your grandmother..."

"Why? I don't understand. Why were we in danger?" Alexis inquires.

Kate sighs and replies. "That case that I was working before I left your father... The one where my team from the AG's office was murdered... I found out that the woman who took the blame for it all, was a patsy... Someone set her up to take the fall. Someone who had ties to Bracken..."

Alexis gives her a puzzled look. "But Bracken was killed in prison."

"Yes, but his partner was the one that had him killed, along with my former team... Someone with great power... If they could get to a man like Bracken, how long would it take for them to get to you, or your dad?"

Alexis considered Kate's comments and quickly responds. "What was to stop them from getting to us? If they wanted to get to dad or grams, or I, how would you leaving us have helped? Did dad know about this?"

Little Castle was as wise and shrewd as her father when looking at a problem. Hindsight being 20/20, she's once again reminded of how foolish and impulsive her actions were at the time, regardless of the justification. "I know that my actions seem silly now, but at the time I honestly believed I was doing the right thing... And no, your father knew nothing about it at the time..."

"You let everyone think that you left because of something dad had said... Or done. I treated him so badly..." Alexis comments while trying to keep her composure.

"I know Alexis and I can't say I'm sorry enough for that... My ego convinced me that I was the only one that would get justice for my former team... I was a fool. I chose to go down that rabbit hole again, forsaking everyone that mattered..."

"Where did Vikram fit in all of this? Dad felt as if you traded him in for the man..."

"Alexis, you have to believe me, your father was the only man I've ever loved. My one and done..." Kate was nearly in tears as she pleaded with woman she once thought of as a daughter.

Alexis was quick to pick up on the past tense Kate used when describing her feelings for Rick. "So you don't love him now? Why are you really here?" The redhead questions while trying to control her anger.

"I love your father so much it hurts Alexis. Every morning I wake in an empty bed that your father and I shared, a bitter reminder of what I threw away... I'm here to beg you to forgive me if I have to, because I know how much you mean to him... How much he loves you..." Kate fights back a tear with a sniff.

Alexis wanted so badly to believe Kate, if no other reason than to see her father happy again. She had seen first hand how this woman had the ability to make her father the happiest and the saddest he'd ever been. "I wish I could believe you... I really do but I can't forget how easy it was for you to throw dad away like he was nothing more than a roadblock to your mission... You crushed him..."

"I know I did Alexis and I'd give anything if I could go back to when this all started... I let my obsession write checks that I couldn't cash. I ignored everyone who tried to warn me... I had lose everything before I got the help I needed to make a permanent change..."

Both women decided that this wasn't the place for such a discussion. Kate paid for the meal and were soon back in her car on their way to Alexis' apartment. The ride was spent in total silence as Alexis tried to process everything said and wasn't said, as Kate tried to think of something to say that would convince the young woman she was sincere.

Kate pulled her rental into the apartment parking lot stopping near the entrance. Beckett expected that they had gone as far as they could for the evening and planned on trying to speak to her again before she flew back to New York. "Thank you for coming to dinner with me Alexis. I appreciate you giving me a chance to explain myself."

Alexis considered everything that had been discussed this evening and then surprised both of them by inviting Beckett up to her apartment to continue the conversation. Seizing the opportunity, she quickly accepts the offer and looks for a parking space. The two walk silently into the building and take the stairs to her third floor apartment.

Once inside, Alexis gestures for Kate to take a seat in the living room and asks if she'd like to have a glass of wine. Beckett thanks her and accepts the offer while taking a seat on the sofa. She comments about how much she liked Alexis' apartment and the two make small talk about apartment life. Alexis talked about what it was like living on her own for the first time in her life. She lived with someone her entire life before this, either with her father, her dorm roommate or Pi.

After another glass of wine, Alexis talked about having Thanksgiving dinner with her mother and father together for the first time since she was too young to remember. Kate knew from past experience being with Alexis during the holidays, just how much being with her family for such events meant to her. She couldn't help but feel jealous of Meredith being with Alexis and Rick for the holiday. 'It should have been me with them.' Kate thought to herself.

"Being with mom and dad together for the holiday should have made me happy... But it didn't. All I could see was just how different they are... Not that mom wouldn't have jumped at the chance to get dad back, but even she could see that his heart belonged to someone else..."

Kate's emotions ranged from jealousy, to anger and finally guilt as she listened to Alexis. The redhead's referral to Meredith as 'Mom' stung more than it should. Her not so subtle barb about her father's heart still belonging to her only making things worse. "That's the real problem... We can't seem to get along without each other... I need him as much as he needs me..." Kate wipes a stray tear from her cheek as she tries to calm herself. "Maybe I should go." Kate comments, her voice barely above a whisper and tries to push herself up from the sofa.

Alexis moves to where Kate is sitting and places her hands over her arm, stopping her. "Oh no you don't Kate. You're staying here tonight as you've had too much to drink... Dad would never forgive me if I let you out and something happened to you... So sit down and have another drink... You're staying here... The sofa makes into a bed."

Kate knew that there was no point in arguing with the redhead. All she could do was smile and offer a thank you to Alexis. Beckett knew that she was correct and that Rick would never wish her harm no matter how he felt about her. They finished the bottle and were both feeling no pain when Kate blurts out. "You know I met your step grandmother..."

"No way! My grandfather is married? What's she like? Does dad know about this?"

Kate has to laugh at the rapid fire questioning by the younger Castle, so much like her father. She holds up her hands in mock surrender. "Easy there Castle. One question at a time. Her name is Rita. She's some type of badass as she saved my life from the people that were trying to kill Vikram..."

Kate pauses as her expression changes to one of sadness. "And no, I never told your dad about her... I never got the chance... She was the one that warned me not to go off on my own. That if anyone got hurt now, it would be my fault... She told me to go home to my husband and I ignored her warnings, doing the exact opposite... I'm such a fool..."

Alexis sighed and put her hand on top of Kate's in a reassuring manner. She wanted to forgive Kate, but didn't know if she could. "Why don't you get some sleep. We can talk again in the morning."

Kate feigned a small smile and thanked her for her kindness. Alexis went into her bedroom, returning with blankets and a pillow. She brought out an oversized tee shirt and a pair of lounger pants. And laid them on top of the bedding. "I'll let you change in the bathroom first." The younger Castle comments as she gestures to the door beside her bedroom.

Once again Kate thanks her, picking up the clothes and walking to the bathroom. She emerges from the bathroom dressed in the outfit as Alexis tells her good night and enters her bedroom.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve:**

Rick awoke the next morning to the sound of his cellphone ringing on his nightstand. He growls as he picks the offending device up to answer it. "It's early."

"Rise and shine writer-boy. You've got a busy day ahead of you... Remember?" Lanie's far too cheery voice for this time of the morning replies. "I'll meet you in the lobby in fifteen minutes. I'll even let you buy me breakfast... Later Castle." She hangs up before Rick can respond.

Knowing just how punctual the ME was, he nearly sprints from the bed to his bathroom for a quick "shower. Exactly fifteen minutes later he is standing in the lobby, his hair still dripping wet as Lanie enters, trying, but failing to contain her laughter.

The two share a leisurely breakfast in the hotel's restaurant. Lanie shared stories about Javi and Kevin while Rick listened intently. Castle talked about living in Key West and how different it was from his former life in New York. Lanie could tell from the way he spoke just how much he missed his former life, how much he missed his wife.

They were finishing their second cup of coffee when the ME comments. "Let's get going writer-boy. You've got an appointment at the salon to get that mane of hair lopped off... Then we get to go shopping for some new clothes..." She almost giggled with glee as she spoke.

"Oh goody." Rick sarcastically replies.

X-X-X-X

Kate awoke to the wonderful smell of breakfast cooking and for the faintest of moments thought that she was home with Rick. Then she opens her eyes and sees where she is. Alexis enters the living room carrying two cups of coffee, placing one on the table in front of Kate. "It should be pretty close to the way you make it... I don't normally keep all of the ingredients..."

Kate takes an appraising smell of the drink and can't help but smile. She hasn't had a good cup of coffee in over a year. Taking a tentative sip, she smiles. "This is perfect. Thank you... And thank you for letting me stay here..."

"I couldn't let you drive after all of the wine we drank last night... Breakfast is ready in the kitchen... " Alexis gestures into the kitchen. Beckett thanks her and follows the younger Castle into the kitchen. The two women ate their meal in relative silence and Kate complimented her on her cooking.

Alexis breaks the silence. "You know, I spent a long time last night thinking about everything we talked about last night... I love my father more than anything... I just hope that one day I'm lucky enough to find a man that loves me as much as he loves you... He'd die for you, hell, he threw himself in front of a bullet for you..."

Kate starts to reply, but Alexis holds up her hand to stop her. "I'll help you Kate... For dad..."

Beckett couldn't contain her tears hearing that the one woman who has the most influence on Rick has agreed to help bring them together. "Thank you Alexis... I won't let you down. I promise..."

The two women spend the rest of the morning discussing ways to get the two back together. Most of the plans were far too complex to be practical. Both were afraid that an ambush of his Florida home would only increase the chance of him running again. Neither knew that as they spoke, the subject of their scheming was sitting in a New York men's salon.

Rick emerges from the stylist's chair looking completely different from when he entered. Lanie gives him an appraising look and can't seem to contain her smile. "Damn writer-boy! You look good..."

"Really?" Rick nervously inquires.

"If you weren't so hopelessly in love with my best friend, I'd make a play for you myself... But then again, you've always been that way..." She gives him an almost wistful look as she speaks. "Let's go get some lunch... And you're buying."

They have a quiet lunch at one of the better eateries nearby. The conversation was kept to safe topics, such as their plans for the upcoming holidays. Lanie was hoping that Rick was going to be in the city so that she and her band of conspirators could come up with a plan to get the two together. Castle assumed as much and was evasive with his answers, but not totally discounting the idea of returning to the city permanently.

"What are your plans for the evening?" Lanie inquires. She had been busy on the phone while Rick was in the salon talking to Ryan and Espo trying to get them together for the first time in well over a year. While Ryan had been more than receptive to the idea, Espo was not as sure about facing Castle. Lanie assumed that part of the reason was he was ashamed of how he treated the writer before Rick vanished, believing that Castle was responsible for Kate moving out of the loft.

"Why?" Rick replies, immediately suspicious.

"While you were getting all 'prettied' up at the salon, I called the boys and they'd love to see you..."

"I, I don't know about that Lanie. I mean we didn't exactly part on the best of terms..."

Lanie can see the hesitation on Castle's part, not sure how he feels about seeing Kate's friends. He couldn't forget how Espo assumed that he was the reason for Kate's behavior. "Look Castle, the boys understand why you did what you did... I thought that it would be nice for you to see them before you head back south..."

Rick sighs, knowing that it was pointless to argue with Lanie. "Where and when?"

Lanie can't help but flash a victorious smile. "Seven o'clock. The Olde Haunt. Kevin's bringing Jenny and I told Espo to bring a date if he wanted to..."

Castle can't help but give her a surprised look as she nonchalantly discusses Javi dating another woman. It was obvious from the way that she mentioned it that she had moved on from the detective in her life. "You're coming? Right?" Rick nervously inquires, not sure how the two men will react to seeing him after all this time.

Lanie has to laugh at the look on his face. "Of course I'm coming writer-boy. I want to see the looks on their faces when they see you..."

X-X-X-X

Kate and Alexis spent the better part of the day shopping at some of the better stores in the city. Very little was purchased, but both seemed to enjoy just being together again after all of this time. They enjoyed lunch at one of the trendy bistros near Beverly Hills that Alexis had read a review about. Alexis drove the two up to Santa Monica and they spent the afternoon on the pier taking in the sights. Being at the pier was bittersweet for Kate. She liked being here with Alexis, but remembered her last time, taking down the man that had killed Mike Royce, her mentor. How close she came to taking the man's life. And now that she thought about it, another example of her obsession taking control of her, ignoring direct orders from both the NYPD and the LAPD to leave the case alone.

They decide to have dinner at one of the more fashionable restaurants in the city. Kate returns to her hotel to shower and change into something appropriate. Alexis does the same and they agree to meet there. During their lunch, Alexis had passed Kate Rick's new email address and as soon as Beckett was in her room, her laptop was open. She sat there staring at the blank screen petrified. Kate had no idea what to say to him after all of this time. Frustrated with herself, she opts to take a shower and hope that she can come up with something that will get his attention. Still wrapped in her towel, she sits down in front of the blank screen and starts to type. She re-reads the opening line and quickly deletes it, knowing she has to get his attention quickly. She also knows that staring with an apology would be probably the worst thing she could do.

Cursing herself, she shuts the laptop and focuses on getting dressed for her dinner with Alexis. She was scheduled to fly back to New York on the noon flight that will get her back to the city late that evening. Kate considered asking Alexis for her help in what she should say to her father, but quickly dismissed the thought. She had made this mess, it was time for her to clean it up.

Kate arrives at the restaurant a few minutes early and is pleased to see Alexis already seated at their table. The redhead rises up from her seat dressed in a beautiful emerald green cocktail dress and matching heels. Beckett was taken back by just how much Alexis had grown since the first time they met all those years ago. The wise beyond her years girl was now a beautiful woman. How Alexis seemed to be the perfect combination of her mother's looks with her father's personality and intelligence. For a fleeting moment, she wondered if her children with Rick would have been as perfect.

The two women exchange hugs and compliment each other on their choices of outfits. Kate was similarly dressed, but in a deep purple which was her favorite color. The meal was excellent and the conversation flowed smoothly. Both seemed to be comfortable with each other. During dessert, Kate confesses that she had tried and failed, to put together a message for Rick. Alexis considers Kate's problem and simply replies 'tell him the truth'.

"No matter what it is, no matter how he might feel about it, tell the truth. It was lies and half-truths that got you into this mess. It's the only thing that will get you out of it." Alexis pauses for a moment. "And whatever you do, don't make a promise you can't keep..."

Kate considered everything that the young woman said and knew she was right. She'd made promises to him in the past and broken them without a second thought, always able to justify why in her mind. If she was to have any chance with him, she had to be willing to keep her word regardless of circumstances.

They finished their meal and the two women exchanged hugs and promises to stay in touch as they waited for the valet to bring their cars to them. They knew that they would see each other for Christmas. Martha had already arranged that. Kate thanked Alexis for all of her help and promised that she would do what she had been told regarding Rick.

Back in her room, Kate changed out of her evening wear and slipped into one of Rick's old tee shirts. It was thread bare by now, but always seemed to help her sleep when she wore it. She sits down at the desk and opens her laptop again. After talking to Alexis earlier, the words seemed to flow now and she was done with the note before she even realized it. She quickly proofread it and decided that no changes were needed. Kate had told him the truth and that was all she could do. How he reacts to it was up to him...


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen:**

Rick woke the next morning to the sound of his cellphone's alarm chirping. Still groggy from the night before, he frowns as he stops the annoying sound. He had promised to meet his mother for brunch and was booked on the 6:00 pm flight back to Miami. He pushes himself up from the bed and stumbles into the bathroom. He had just enough time to get a shave and shower before meeting Martha.

The night before had been interesting to say the least. While Ryan and Jenny were thrilled to see him, Espo was more than a little apprehensive about being there. He and his date arrived late and looked as uncomfortable seeing him as Rick was at the moment. While the conversation flowed smoothly with Kevin and Jenny, Espo spoke very little, if at all. After a second round of drinks, Rick decides to take the group to dinner. Espo reluctantly agrees to come with the group as Lanie shoots daggers at him.

Dinner had went about as well as Rick would expect, considering the personalities involved. Espo was drinking about twice as much as the others and it appeared that his date was more than a little taken by the 'new and improved' version of Castle. Her not-so-subtle flirtation had Javi seeing red, coming to a head when she practically throws herself at him after Lanie describes her day on Rick's yacht.

"Why are you here Castle? Come back to screw with Beckett's mind some more?" Espo angrily slurs, the effect of too much alcohol in too little time.

Both Lanie and Kevin give Javi a look that would have melted steel. "What's your problem man?" Ryan asks, trying to curb his own anger.

Rick holds up his hand to stop Kevin. "No, let him talk. I'm curious to hear what he has to say..." He looks directly at Espo. "First, you're drunk, and second why I'm here is none of your fucking business. For eight years I put up with your bullshit, because you and Beckett were so tight, but that's all over now."

"Oh yeah?" Espo gives him a challenging look. "You're lucky that I'm with my date man..."

Everyone at the table is shocked by Espo's words except Castle. He laughs at the not-so-veiled threat and replies. "Man, no wonder you two were so tight, there's no limit to your egos." This comment produces nervous laughs from everyone, further infuriating Javi.

"I think that you should go." Kevin comments to his former partner. Without his partner and Beckett, Espo had struggled, making his way onto the new Captain's 'shit list'. The only reason that Espo even agreed to come was the chance to face the man he felt was responsible for all of his recent misfortune. Seeing that Castle looked like he was thriving without them only increased his resentment.

Espo wads up his napkin throwing it on his plate as he grabs the arm of his date. "I'm out of here. Let's go."

The brunette that was Javi's date, jerks her arm away from his grasp and growls. "You're an ass. You go without me."

Red faced from embarrassment, Javi storms out of the restaurant. The brunette,, who's name was Heather, apologizes for Esposito's behavior and offers to leave herself. The others assure her that it's ok and that she was welcome to stay.

"Man, I've never seen Javi that mad. You shouldn't poke the bear like that." Kevin confides to Rick.

Castle can only laugh at the comment. "Do you honestly think that Javi could kick my ass? The only thing that saved him all of those years was what Kate would have done to me if I embarrassed her partner." Rick spoke with such calm confidence that no one there questioned him. "I trained at the Farm, before I spent nearly a year working with the CIA. That's why the Derrick Storm novels seem so authentic..."

The conversation returned to safer topics and Jenny thanked Rick for the present that he had sent when their son Seamus was born. Kevin figured correctly that Martha and Alexis were in contact with him all along. He understood why Castle had to leave. It was why he had to transfer from the 12th. He had no contact with her since his send off last year.

Dinner was over and Rick made arrangements for his old limo service to take Lanie, Heather, and the Ryan's to their respective homes. Rick took a cab back to his hotel and pondered the evening's events. He was happy to see that Kevin and Jenny were doing well, yet disappointed to see how lost Espo appeared to be.

Castle logged on and checked his email, finding nothing. He went to sleep as Kate was writing her note that would change everything...

X-X-X-X

Kate woke a little after eight. She hadn't slept that well in over a year. She knew that she'd done all that she could with her note to Rick. It was up to him now. She logged on to her computer and was disappointed to see that her message to him hadn't been read. She took a quick shower and packed her belongings. She took one final look to see if her message had been opened and tried hard to not be disappointed when she found that it wasn't.

After a quick breakfast at the hotel's restaurant, she checked out and was on her way to the airport. She cleared airport security only thirty minutes before her flight was scheduled to begin boarding. She opened her laptop one last time before she stowed it in her carry on bag. Once again, there was no change in status. Either Rick hadn't checked his email, or he saw it and decided not to read it. She assumed the latter.

X-X-X-X

Rick was sitting at the table in the hotel's restaurant when his mother walks in along with Jim Beckett. Castle knew nothing about Jim coming to brunch with his mother. The way they were laughing and talking as they approached the table, this was something his mother had planned. Rick rises from his seat as the two approach.

"Richard darling! It's so good to see you and my you certainly look different than the pictures that Hayley had taken of you in Key West..." She threw her arms around him giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek..

Rick gives her a kiss on her cheek in return and releases her from the hug as he turns to extend his hand to the elder Beckett. "Jim, it's good to see you."

Jim shakes Rick's hand and replies. "It's good to see you too son..." The smile on his face shows his sincerity. Rick gestures for everyone to take a seat as he holds a chair for Martha. Once seated, Rick gestures for the waitress to take their drink orders. They all order coffee as she leaves the menus and asks if they were interested in the buffet instead.

"So darling, what brings you back to New York. Did you come to your senses and decide to come home?" Martha inquires.

"Not really, I flew up Thursday for meetings with Black Pawn. I signed a new three book deal..."

"Well that's marvelous son. You're continuing the Nikki Heat series?"

"No. I just finished the last one on my previous contract last week. That's why they wanted to get me back under contract so soon."

"So, are you starting a new series then?" Jim asks.

"Yes, I've got a couple of ideas that I plan to develop. Nothing final yet." Rick replies.

Coffee served, the waitress took their orders and the conversation stayed on safe topics. Martha with her workshop and Jim with his firm. Jim did reveal that he had used Rick''s agency a couple of times for some case related work. At first Castle seemed pleased to hear about it until he realizes that it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with his daughter. Rick spoke about visiting the Olde Haunt and running into Lanie and Hayley while he was there. He talked out his dinner with Kevin and Javi last evening, omitting the confrontation with Esposito.

Both Martha and Jim seemed pleased to see that Rick was making an effort to re-establish ties with those he left behind when he disappeared. They were enjoying their coffees when Jim spoke. "So... Hayley tells us that you have a yacht..."

"It's not exactly a yacht by technical terms, but it is pretty nice..." Castle smiles and replies with a wistful look on his face.

Jim smiles himself seeing Rick talk about something that truly made him happy. "So tell me about her?..."

"She's an Endeavor 40. A single mast sailboat. She's pretty nice..."

"So what's her name?" Jim inquires.

"Loves Lost." Rick replies as his smile fades.

"Do you have any pictures of her?" Jim asks, hoping to find a way to get a trip on the boat and possibly sneak on his daughter somehow."

"No. Sorry Jim." Rick replies apologetically.

"That's ok... One of these days you'll have to take me out on her..." Jim comments.

"Anytime you'd like Jim. We could sail down to the Caribbean or the Bahamas..."

"Are you serious Rick? I've got some time between Christmas and New Year... I could take a few extra days beyond that..."

"Just let me know when Jim. My schedule looks pretty open right now..." The two men talked in general terms about the trip and Jim promised to contact him through Martha to let him know just how and when they could leave. What he was really hoping for was an agreement from Kate to be part of his plan to get her back with Rick.

They ended their meal and exchanged handshakes and hugs, promising that they'd see each other soon. Rick still hadn't decided if he'd return to the city for Christmas or have Martha and Alexis meet him somewhere. Checking his watch, he sees that it's now after 1:00 pm and the driver would be here to pick him up at 2:00. Rick returned to his room and quickly packed up his bag before checking out of the hotel with a few minutes to spare.


	14. Chapter 14: Hello, I Love You

**Chapter Fourteen:**

The driver pulled in front of the hotel exactly at 2:00 pm. Traffic was relatively light because it was Sunday and they arrived at JFK a few minutes before 3:00 pm. Rick made his way through airport security and checked in at his departure gate only to find out that his flight has been delayed due to mechanical issues. At the moment that delay was only an hour.

Castle stopped in the lounge nearest his gate and sat down at a table nearest to walkway. The Giants were playing the Cowboys on TV and the place was filled with noises as the fans reacted to the outcome of each play. The waitress brought Rick his drink and he tried to watch the game on one of the monitors in the bar. The game ends at about the same time his flight was originally scheduled to leave. The channel was changed to one of the later games and Rick had no desire to watch.

Remembering that he hadn't checked his email in over a day, he pulls his laptop out of his travel bag and fires it up. The first two emails were from Paula and Gina, probably regarding his new contract. There was one from Alexis and one from an email address that he didn't recognize. Sure enough the messages from his agent and publisher were regarding his new contract. Neither required any action from him. He opened the message from Alexis, curious to hear how her time with Kate had went. He was hopeful that things went well.

He read the note from his daughter and was pleased to hear that things did go well. She talked about her dinner with Kate and their time shopping together. He was surprised to hear that Kate had spent the night at her place. What was more surprising was his daughter's seeming endorsement to at least give Kate a chance to explain why she did the things she did. He was happy to hear that she had been able to fix things somewhat with Alexis, but still had his doubts.

Rick quickly typed a response thanking her for entertaining Kate. He told her that he was returning to Key West after spending the weekend in New York and that he had met with Martha and Jim. He ended the note with a promise to see her over the holidays. He pauses before opening the next email, not knowing who it could be from but having his suspicions after reading Alexis' message. Sure enough the message was from Kate and for a split second, he considered trashing it without reading it, but his curiosity won out in the end.

 _Rick,_

 _I'm not sure if you're reading this, but I can only hope you do. I've made mistakes in my life, some big and some small, but the single biggest mistake that I've made in my life was the night I left you without an explanation why. You deserved to know why, but my ego wouldn't let me. I was so convinced that I was doing something righteous that I ignored the fact that I was hurting the people that were important to me, especially you. I lied and hid behind half-truths to conduct my secret investigation._

 _I was so sure of myself that I was doing the right thing, I never considered what I was sacrificing for my quest. My friends, family, career, but most importantly my husband. I threw everything of value in my life away for my obsessions. You knew that I was broken the first time we met. You told me so and that scared me. But you never gave up on me even when you had no reason to._

 _I don't blame you for divorcing me and leaving like you did. I didn't give you a choice and if I was honest with myself, I was a terrible wife. You deserve someone that can love you the way you love them. The way you loved me. It's taken months of therapy for me to realize just how terribly I behaved. Dr Burke has helped me to see how I let my compulsive behavior ruin everything and I know that like an addict, I'll never be cured. Everyday is struggle, but this is what I need to do._

 _I know that I don't deserve it, but I'd love to have a chance to see you again. Maybe over a cup of coffee? There are so many things that I'd like to say to you. I've missed you so much. I love you. I'll always love you. You are my one and done._

 _Always,_

 _Kate_

Rick re-read the email over and over not trusting the emotions that he felt at the moment. Much like his fear of seeing her weakening his resolve, simply reading the email was having a similar effect. He pulled his phone from his pocket and dials Alexis' number. She answers on the third ring.

"Hey dad, where are you?"

"Sitting in a bar in JFK, waiting for my flight back to Miami... You know, the usual mechanical delays..."

"So what's up? Getting bored and thought that you'd call your daughter?" Alexis laughs to let him know that she's teasing.

"Pumpkin, you were with Kate for the last couple of days... How did things really go with you two?"

There was an extended pause before Alexis begins to speak. "It was a little awkward at first... She seemed to be scared of me... Afraid that I'd send her away. But then we talked about things... About how she was convinced that she was protecting us all by leaving you... By lying to all of us. She told me how much she missed you. How much she loves you and wants another chance..."

"Do you believe her?" Rick asks, hoping for the answer he wants to hear.

"I... I want to dad. I think that she believes what she says, but..."

He knows what his daughter was saying, and not saying. Kate had made promises before and broken them. "She sent me an email... She wants a chance to talk... I don't know if I can trust her..."

"What do you want to do dad?"

"I want to believe that she's telling the truth. That she's changed..."

"Then follow your heart dad... Give her a chance to explain herself... You know it's what you want..."

Rick considers his daughter's advice and makes his decision. "Thank you pumpkin. You've been a big help... I'll send her a reply and ask if we can meet when I return for the holidays..."

Alexis smiles hearing her father give Kate a chance. "Or, you could wait a couple of hours and see her in person when her plane lands..."

It was one thing to send an email and a totally different thing to see her face to face after all this time. Rick wasn't sure if he was ready to face her. 'What if she changed her mind and doesn't want to see me?' He questions himself. "Do you have her flight information?"

"Yeah, she's on United flight 22 from LAX, arriving at 9:20." Alexis replies. "Are you going to meet her?"

"I don't know pumpkin. I'm not sure what to do..."

"I know you'll do the right thing dad. I love you."

"I love you too pumpkin. You take care."

"You too dad." Alexis replies as the call ends.

Rick looks across the aisle at the arrival and departure board. He notices that his departure time has been delayed another hour and that Kate's flight was listed for an on time arrival. Castle signals to the waitress for another drink as his mind tries to weigh the pros and cons of his choices.

X-X-X-X

The pilot's announcement that they were making their final approach and would be on the ground in just a few minutes, woke Kate from her brief nap. She hadn't planned on it and normally she didn't sleep on planes, but for some reason she just felt at peace with herself. The dream was the same as it had been for more than a year now - her and Rick together with their child playing in the park. Sometimes the child was a boy, sometimes a girl, but in every dream the child had dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes. They would walk with the child to their swings, where they would sit together and watch as their child played. It was a beautiful dream.

It was nearly thirty minutes later before the plane actually pulled into the gate. She was off the plane and down the ramp into the terminal in just a minute or so. The airport was packed with people trying to get either out on one of the remaining flights for the night or out of the place to get home. Kate had to check the extra bag full of things that she bought while with Alexis. She borrowed on of her bags and promised to leave it with Martha once she unpacked it. Beckett flowed with the other people who were also on their way to the baggage claim area in a sea of people.

Once in the baggage claim area, she scans to overhead monitors to see which carousel her luggage would be on. She never notices the man standing not far from her carousel. Beckett feels her phone vibrate in her jacket and pulls it from her pocket to see that her driver has arrived and is waiting for her at the exit. She types a quick reply to let him know that she has arrived and takes a spot a few feet away from the carousel. The blaring of the alarm notifying passengers that the belt is about to start captures all of her attention, as she intently eyes the moving luggage passing by. Kate spots Alexis' bag and moves close to intercept it as other passengers do also. Grabbing the handle of the bag, she yanks on it as quickly as she can nearly striking someone behind her.

"Looks like you could use some help with that..." The baritone voice that she would recognize anywhere comments. Convinced that she's hearing things, Kate quickly turns with the bag still in hand nearly striking him across his legs. The look on her face was priceless and he has to chuckle. "If you don't want to see me, just say so. You don't have to assault me with my daughter's luggage..." The smile on his face let's her know that he is just teasing.

Kate is rendered speechless by the sight of Rick standing before her. He looked so different yet the same. Her ex-husband looked younger and older at the same time. He'd lost weight and his skin looked like bronze. Castle looked nothing like the pictures that Lanie and Hayley had shown her only a week earlier. He looked like her Rick, but only better.

Seeing Kate rendered speechless by the sight of him made him feel both happy and sad. Happy to see her again and sad to know how much time they had wasted by deciding to be apart. She also looked the same yet different. She'd also lost weight and the dark circles under her eyes told him she wasn't sleeping like she should. Then he caught a glimpse of the last gift he bought for her on her wrist. The platinum bracelet with his promise of always to her. A reminder of how much he loved her.

"I read your email..." Rick pauses, not sure if he should ask the question that has stuck with him since he read it. "Did you mean what you said?"

"Every word of it..." Kate replies in a small, almost timid voice.

Rick closes the distance between the two of them. She was wearing flats for comfortable travel rather than he customary four inch heels and she seemed much smaller facing him. She looks up into his crystal blue eyes and can see the love that he still felt for her. He lowers his head and places a soft kiss on her lips. "I love you Katherine Houghton Beckett. I think I've always loved you..."

Kate takes her hands and places them on his neck, pulling his head down as she rises on her toes to give him a kiss of her own. One that lasted longer and conveyed her longing for him. They finally break from their kiss and Kate replies. "I love you Richard Edgar Alexander Rodgers Castle... You are my one and done and no one will ever compare to you... Without you in my life, I am lost..."

Rick could see the sincerity in her eyes as she spoke. He knew that she would forever hold his heart. The two stood there as all of the other travelers moved about around them, oblivious to everyone else. "I missed my flight and need to find a place to stay for the night..." Castle comments as he wraps his arms around her, holding her close to him.

"I've got this big empty loft... I'm sure we could find you someplace to sleep..." She replies as she kisses him again, this time her tongue demanding entrance in his mouth. Rick smiles as the two break their kiss and wraps on arm around her waist while the other snares her bag.

The two walk together without saying a word, happy to just be together again after all this time. Both knew that this was just the beginning, the first step towards becoming more. The synergy they seemed to share when they were together...

Kate smiled for what felt like the first time in over a year as they get into the limo waiting for her. "I believe I owe you a cup of coffee..."

 _ **AN:**_ I've debated with the idea of either an epilogue, or a sequel. For the moment, I'll leave the two with a hopeful ending and let you decide what happens next...


End file.
